Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, May 03, 2008


My friend was buried today. And while I don’t want to believe it, I think his last days on earth were his last days of life. I was thinking about Arlene, and while we prayed for her to stay with us, we also prayed for her to live on, and our prayers were answered. She will live on.

I ran into someone at the funeral “R”, I know her but I would not call us friends, she ran in the same circles as my friend. “he was a super guy” and for those who ran with him, that’s what they thought, they thought he had it all, but if you really took the time, you knew that he was sad inside, he was lonely, and he used drinking and women to fill his heart. For some reason, that always makes me love people more. I want them to see that love comes from Jesus, and that no one night stand or bottle will fill your heart. It makes me remember that I was like that too, and how in what seemed to be one moment, my heart was full and I didn’t need others to fill my heart. I feel like maybe somehow I could have tried harder to get him to Jesus, what if I would have invited him more to Metro, I used to tell him “check it out, you’re boys will love it”, what if I would have prayed more… what if…

I sat in the church, filled with rituals, a few times I smiled to myself thinking “this stuff never leaves you”, I wanted to scream “sprinkling water on baby’s heads do not get them to heaven anymore than standing in the rain praying does”. I prayed for peace for his family, I prayed that God would call until they answered, that lives would be changed, that hearts would be filled, that lives would not end on this earth, but live/love on and on.

John 3:15 that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.


Trish said...

Moving Post... rituals mean nothing when we're staring Eternity in the face.

John Cowart said...

Hi Margie,

Sounds like a tough thing for you to go through. Especially the "what if..." stuff.

Over the years I've been in this position several times and it never gets easier.

We can only trust that, The Lord knoweth His Own".