Faith?


Matthew 6:25-34 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I sometimes feel like I have a strong faith. And sometimes I feel like my faith is like a weak fruit roll up. I never really doubt God, I have never been one of those people who has said “where are you God?” It’s just not me, although I understand that people think that, and I can see where they are coming from. I get that. I just sometimes want God to come down, RIGHT NOW and take care of what I need taken care of. I don’t want to wait. I am not a good wait-er. Most of my life I feel like I’ve had to survive and I’ve had to figure out how that looked (because it doesn’t always look the same), and that means that inside, I’m a fighter. I’ve labeled myself as a ‘scrapper’. My daughter will tell you, “if you mess with my mom, you better watch out”. This is not to say that I will pick a fight, or that I never walk away, this means that if it is something I am passionate about, you better be ready to scrap because I am going at it. And there is one thing you better not ever mess with, and that is my family (this could be blood or Blood family – they are the same). Anyway, where I am going with this, is I was thinking, am I such a fighter that I don’t believe that God will take care of it for me?

Ugh!

Little faith. How can I call myself a Christ follower if I don’t trust. Or if I worry. If I worry is that a sin saying “God I don’t trust that You will take care of it”? ugh.

I was thinking about my post from the other day. Ugh. All stuff that I just shouldn’t worry about. I should fight the urge to think I am not worthy, I have to remember that just like I tell “my kids”, you are beautiful and wonderful, and smart and funny, you are a child of God, and He loves you, He will forever be with you no matter what else happens in you life, it’s true about me too. I have to remember that I am set apart, that I will not fit into this world easily, that I have a different path, the bible says that the wide road leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13), that’s the easy path to take but the end result… not so good. That skinny way, the way that God asks us (and we must obey!) is not as easy, it means that sometimes it’s so narrow that only me and God can fit through it. It means that unless we reach out to God and His love, it might even become lonely. It means that we have to leave our baggage behind. I can imagine being on a very thin mountain path, getting to the top of a beautiful view, but all I can carry is me, anything else will cause me to stumble, cause me to fall, and I’ll never make it to my destination. I’ve got to let it go. You know that corny saying “let go and let God”. Corny but true. If we want to stand on the Mountain of God, we’ve got to trust Him.

I know my worry and scrapping is covered with Grace. I don’t deserve it, but I’m greatful. I really only know one way to combat worry to really fight all that is wrong in the world (and that dark & scary place I call my brain) and that is to replace those thoughts with The Word. To know it to stand on it, and to sometimes hide behind it. To use it as the shield it was intended to be, to be the sword that cuts through it all. To pray on it, to pray with it, to say it, to believe it.

Matthew 17:20 20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Comments

Trish said…
Amen! God has everything under control! You go girl!