Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I said the other day that we started an official prayer ministry at Alive, I also have a new prayer partner, Selena! I already loved Selena. She’s a great girl not because of what she does, but because of her heart. It’s only been 3 days, but I have to tell you, this has had a great influence on my life. I find myself praying more, reading the Word more, and I’m more positive.

I’ve found that with some people, the more I try to be nice and even help them, the meaner they are to me, and I just have to be who I am and just take it. That’s not easy. I want to punch them, but instead, I throw the Word at them. They don’t know it but they are being pelletted by prayer and scripture. HA! And that’s not easy, but I know that I can’t change their heart, but God can. I also know that I can’t change them but my attitude can change me.

I caught myself today. I was about to say something that wasn’t nice. And part of Eph 4:29 isn’t just about building someone up, but it’s to benefit those who listen. (Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.) It’s funny that scripture is speaking to me in so many ways. I even have been thinking of someone in particular that was just really mean to me, and how that affected me and in that, how forgiveness will affect me even greater.

I still am not giving up on going to Austria. God is working, I know it, and I can’t wait to give praises to Him because of this and how He is working in my heart and in the hearts of others. Maybe some see this as frivolous; maybe they think ‘there are greater causes’. But its not about a vacation, it’s about the kids I will be with besides Phyllis and how in some way, I will be the Jesus they need when they are tired and frustrated. About how God will work in them and in me while we are there.

Maybe you have a mom. But I never had one. And you know that I have struggled with being a mom and doing the right thing Phyllis’s whole life. It’s not being something that you’ve never had an everyday example of. I have no memories of my mom. For one minute, think about that. I know she loved me, I have one great example of how much she loved me, but I never remember being kissed on the head or a hug from her. I’m thankful to have a wonderful dad, and I have a lot of great memories with him, but I have no memories of vacations and inside jokes with my mom. And so part of this is memories with Phyllis. I will never forget “but who will I share Europe with?” that she asked me. Ugh. God will make a way. I am standing strong in Him to provide this way, and for earthly angels and companies that I am writing letters to be Jesus in a real way for us. It’s a small task for God to handle.

“A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!”- Proverbs 15:23

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