It's not anyone's fault that I often don't feel special. It seems like it's always been this way. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not sweet enough, not good enough (and there's a long list of things I am "too much" of).
We left Friday morning to go to Grace Centers of Hope, we seriously had NO room left for one more thing in the cars! The students worked in the kitchen, thrift store, cleaned up Seneca Street, mopped floors, swept, cleaned the church. They are amazing.
I started to feel today that I didn't really do much. Sure, I planned the trip, however, my butt did not travel outside of the area that we stayed in. I was busy, I cooked, planned, and cleaned. I was just kind of thinking I could have done more and God simply said, "you did as you were supposed to". Funny. Here I was thinking "I suck" and God's words were simple and quiet.
We started "encouragement" bags on the last mission trip. People can put little notes or scripture in each person's bags. The students really love them, and I have to admit, I love them too. This time, I decided that I would cut out letters on my cricket and glue them on. I made each name with a different color for each letter. I got quite a few notes, I loved each one. One was simple. One of the girls, Amber, drew a picture of the cross and a little word blurb that said "I loved you before you knew me". Hmmm... then I started thinking that in all the foolishness of not feeling special, the cross speaks to us the most important truths. I'm often blown away by how if I were the only one, Jesus would have paid the price. Just for me. That my gifts, though quiet, and usually steady, are just that, gifts. That the gift of loving teenagers and serving them, so they can serve others, is very important. And it does bring glory to God.
Jer 1:5 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."