Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I never doubt that God is with me.
I never doubt His healing power.
I never doubt that I am completely undeserving of His love.
I never doubt the power of prayer
I never doubt that if I stand on His Word that I am made stronger.
I never doubt that I can completely get in my own way.

The last couple weeks have been a struggle for me. I have never questioned God's presence in my life. I know that He never leaves me, even when I make it easy for Him. I am fighting the urge to fight. Fight what I am not sure. I just know that my baby may be sick and I don't like it, and someone must pay, though I am not sure who, and since I could completely take it out on someone else, I am trying to keep my emotions under control. I am trying not to become consumed, to be balanced as much as I can. I just stay in constant prayer.

I am not sure what I am up against at this time because I "think" her arthritis is coming back, however, we haven't been to the pediatric rheumatologist yet. I really just want to know what I am up against. I remember making all those decisions by myself those years ago, and I am not looking forward to all that again. Even though I am smart (or at least I have common sense), I feel like sometimes I am a little under qualified (maybe I shouldn't have been such a disappointment and I should have went into nursing like my family wanted). This time however, instead of trying to do this on my own, each decision will be put before the Lord with the petition for wisdom for each decision.

Please continue to pray for Phyllis, for the doctors to have wisdom, discernment, and compassion. And for me... peace. And pray for a quick Dr. Appt, I just learned... there isn't one until April... I could potentially lose my mind by then!

James 3:17 17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.


Trish said...

Dear Lord...I pray for Margie. When our babies are hurting, we hurt. God, give her peace, but most of all may she learn to just rest in you. Father, you control all things. And I know that if it be your will, you can make a way to get her into the Specialist before April...may there be a cancellation so that Margie can get her precious Phyllis in and know what is happening once and for all. Draw them to your side Lord, hold them close. For in Your Presence is fullness of joy!
In Jesus Mighty Name I ask...

MegansWeightLossJourney said...

OK. I know I don't have kids and I can only imagine what you must be going through. I try REALLY hard to live by this and even though it's hard more times then none, it is SO true and REALLY does help me. In fact I have it on my computer at work so I ALWAYS see it!!!

"Worry never empties tomorrow of it's sorrow, but it does empty it of it's strength. Don't let anyone rob you of your confidence in GOD. Know his word. Hold onto his hand. He will make your impossible mission possible and your life so much more bearable." - Barbra Johnson

I love this! And it's so true. I will still be praying, but I am going to pray that GOD gives you strength to let go, to give it all to him - once you do, you won't have the worry in your life, even though you already know he is in total control, I am going to pray that you REALLY know he is in control - once you have this, you will have PEACE! This is my prayer for you and I will continue to pray it until you tell me, "Megan, I am at peace, thank you Jesus!" Love you Margie -

Margie said...

ok, I know this is nuts... I got her appointment. I've done what I can do... so now... I'll rest.