I never doubt that God is with me.
I never doubt His healing power.
I never doubt that I am completely undeserving of His love.
I never doubt the power of prayer
I never doubt that if I stand on His Word that I am made stronger.
I never doubt that I can completely get in my own way.
The last couple weeks have been a struggle for me. I have never questioned God's presence in my life. I know that He never leaves me, even when I make it easy for Him. I am fighting the urge to fight. Fight what I am not sure. I just know that my baby may be sick and I don't like it, and someone must pay, though I am not sure who, and since I could completely take it out on someone else, I am trying to keep my emotions under control. I am trying not to become consumed, to be balanced as much as I can. I just stay in constant prayer.
I am not sure what I am up against at this time because I "think" her arthritis is coming back, however, we haven't been to the pediatric rheumatologist yet. I really just want to know what I am up against. I remember making all those decisions by myself those years ago, and I am not looking forward to all that again. Even though I am smart (or at least I have common sense), I feel like sometimes I am a little under qualified (maybe I shouldn't have been such a disappointment and I should have went into nursing like my family wanted). This time however, instead of trying to do this on my own, each decision will be put before the Lord with the petition for wisdom for each decision.
Please continue to pray for Phyllis, for the doctors to have wisdom, discernment, and compassion. And for me... peace. And pray for a quick Dr. Appt, I just learned... there isn't one until April... I could potentially lose my mind by then!
James 3:17 17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.