Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

You can call it what you want...

I will tell you that for the last 6 months to a year I have not felt well. Did I go to the doctor in that time? No. I actually don't like "conventional medicine". It seems they want to mask your symptoms or give you a pill that you will have to take for the rest of your life instead of actually fix what's wrong. This being said that I don't look down on any one who goes to the "real" doctor or who is on medication that their body needs.

I used to go to this Chirpractor years ago and he also does kineseology. He helped me at a time when I went to the doctor for months and they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me, even accused me of eating when I should have fasted and saying that I was messing up my own test results! That was beyond frustrating. I saw him last week. He "tested" me. It seems I had quite a few things that needed to be taken care. My thyroid hit bottom, my adrenal gland was all jacked up (I apparently have way too much cortisol or something). I am not back on the vitaminie regiman. That's what I call it. It has been 4 days, I feel amazing and I know I still have a way to go.

I have been "edgy" for months if not a year, it was an effort some days not to bite off your head (and if I did, I appologize from the bottom of my heart). I was always on the verge of tears. I was up and down. I was withdrawn (and if you came looking for me while I was withdrawn, I am sure I had some excuse like "I'm just not into that sort of thing"), I was a bundle of nerves, I couldn't lose weight and I was trying, and that was frustrating me too, I was tired and I was weak. I was really struggling. These are not excuses, its just the way I felt, and I really am sorry.

I tried to remain positive, I did see the good in things but a lot of days it was a struggle and there were days that I know that God carried me. I had joy because I had Jesus. But it was dark in my head. It was a dark and scary place. Somedays there just wasn't much light.

I don't know what triggered me to go to see the doctor. I don't know what it was, I guess, I just hit the bottom and thought "I might as well just try it".

It has been 4 days and I'm not all the way there to be better, but I am well on my way! Today, the edge was off, I just sat in church greatful for a God who carried me through it all. And hopeful that those around me will be gracious and realize that I didn't mean to be so horrid.


byhisgracealone said...

I am reading all sorts of positive reports on blogs about vitamins...I have depended on herbs and vitamins for a little over ten years and am sold on them...I am trying to do everything I can to avoid conventional meds as I age....glad to hear of your positive results....bless you...


Stacy said...

Could you please tell me what it is that you're taking??

Lynette said...

Good to see you are in such a good place again.

Constance said...

I don't think enough people appreciate the corrolation between good health physically and good health emotionally! I know when I feel cr*ppy, I start feeling depressed, it goes hand in hand! Isn't our God amazing? He really does carry us when we can't take another step!

Trish said...

So glad you took time for yourself and went to the Zoo!
Oh, and that you finally went to the Dr...good girl!