I wear Romans 12:2 around my neck. I love Romans in general, however this scripture reminds me while I live in 'this world' not to be conformed by it, be set apart, "I made you a new creation, stand out, be counted"
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
I struggle with a lot of things, one of which is mattering. Yes, that's right. Mattering. I don't know if it's a real word, but its a real word to me. At my church, we say a lot "you matter because you matter to God". And I believe that 'they' do matter. Me, I struggle with 'me' being part of the 'they'.
I talk, and no one seems to listen. It's like somehow, I have no brain in my head. I've been doing it for 2 years, do they not think I know of which I speak.
And then an issue that rears it's ugly head comes up. And 'someone' said "I hope it's ok?" and all that I had in me wanted to say:
"ITS NOT OK!
IT'S NOT OK TO HURT ME!! IT'S NOT!!!"But I haven't figured out how to say that not mad and stomping off. Because I'm learning... it's not ok for me to hurt me, and it's really not ok for me to hurt them, nothing is solved. So I said "it's ok" and thought, wow, this is another thing I've just got to drop off at 'the foot' and leave it there... AND DON'T PICK IT BACK UP!
And while I was talking to God about all this... He sweetly reminded me that I do matter. I matter to Him. And said "Dear child of Mine, do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Wow. That's right, why are I am I so worried about what others think. I am smart, I do have gifts. I do matter.
So as I slowly relax, do what I do (cook and take care of my family) I am reminded that I do matter. That sometimes I will be hurt, but I do matter.