Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, July 19, 2009


All the fruit fell off my tree yesterday, I left it at Borden Park. Yikes. I did not like who I was for a minute there. But it was a great day until that happened! I was blessed that I could help at the concession stand, it was in the perfect spot that I could watch the games and serve food!

Sometimes I wish I felt more 'found'. I know who I belong to, I know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I get that I don't deserve it. I just wish that I would have grown up feeling a little more special, so that now, I would feel special. A lot of times, I just don't feel like I matter. I'm not saying this because I want a ton of emails or comments saying that I am, I'm just being honest, this is about my journey and that's how I feel.

And I guess it all came to a head yesterday when there was something I REALLY wanted to do, and I honestly I hardly ever say "I really want to do that" and it just didn't work out. It was really anyone's fault, it just didn't happen. And then the argument and then I just thought "I could just give up" not that I would but I felt for a moment that I could. The world would just keep turning long after I'm gone. But I remembered that I'm here for a purpose, and that God has great plans for me, so I should stop feeling sorry for myself, and focus on God and not me. SO I've got to collect my 'fruit' and keep going.

So, I'm striving to be more like Jesus, a little more everyday.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”- Isaiah 41:10

1 comment:

Constance said...

A thought occurred to me as I was reading your post. It's something that the Lord reminds me of regularly when I am in the midst of a struggle or feeling less than ideal.

I am the generation that is breaking the cycle of generational sin in my family. I didn't grow up as a Believer like my children have. I am a pioneer, a trail blazer pointing the way for my children and naturally, that job is the hardest! It's not that they get to coast on my coat tails, they have to have their own relationships with God.

I however am the one bearing the standard and hopefully each subsequent generation has a more clearly marked path because of the changes that God is tediously bringing about in my own life!

And you now what? You ARE special!