Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
So yesterday my stepmom handed me my book that must have gotten stuck under her seat 'God's Leading Lady' by TD Jakes. I bought it quite sometime ago, actually forgot all about it. To say I'm a fan of TD Jakes sounds kind of wierd, but I am a fan of the ministry that God provides through him.
I'm having one of 'those days' the kind where you never feel '_________ enough' and I don't always have the words for to express how I feel, so I keep it all inside because when I try to talk about it, in my mind I think 'you're losing it, it doesn't seem as bad as you seem to feel'. so I started reading the book and this paragraph blew my socks off, and then as I continued to read streams of tears were coming down my face, as if God said "dear child, I hear you"
And at the center of this storm is it's power source, - a woman's battle with her self. This may take the form of an inner critic whispering a scathing judgment in her ear that sh'e not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, loving enough to be who she should be. It may draper her soul with the unending needs of others, suffocating any and all attempts for her to allow her soul to breathe. It may take hte shape of career confusion and relational uncertainty that is paralyzing her, keeping her in a state of indecision. It may be the weariness of the mundane rumbling through the darkness of her heart's depression. God's Leading Lady - TD Jakes, page 3.
Now all of that does not apply to me, but a good part of it does. All day I've thinking "if You're going to fulfill the desires of my heart, Lord, WHEN?" And after chapter one of this book, I don't have that answer, but in some small grace, I know He's listening. And as dumb as that sounds, that's all I need.
I'm sure there is much more to come on this subject!
Isaiah 26:8 Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.