I don't know what's going on, maybe its PMS, maybe it's satan, maybe, I'm self centered, surely, the Lord can handle all of this.
Here's a true story, the names have not been changed to protect the guilty.
It's been about 3 weeks since I opened my bible. I mean longer than 2 minutes to find someone a verse or look something up on Biblegateway.com. Yes, that's right, I'm being real. I am ashamed, but only when I keep it a secret can satan use it against me (however, my prayer life is still intact) I've read books, even done a book on being joyful, but never stuck my nose into my bible. Until today, I read for about 3 hours on and off. I heard the voice of God. Unfortunatly, the battle is already raging inside of me.
I feel like people don't see me, unless they want something from me. And I don't mind being used by God, but I don't want to be used up.
It's frustrating how just last weekend I felt that God was using me, that I was loved, and then not even a week later, I feel like this. And my instinct is to fight, but I don't always seem to fight the right thing.
I seek truth, wisdom, love, & joy. I seek Jesus.
I want to be single minded in times like these, well, really in all times.
Psalm 143:1 O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.