In my head... Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go (Josh 1:9)
Ok... Let me first say that it's quite possible that there will be some eye rolling going on... and I know that not just my "Christian Friends" read this... but I'm gonna be a little real and let you in a little on my heart.
I made the decision, a really hard one that I would not have sex until I'm married. Yes, it's quite obvious that I've already had sex, so why bother, right? Well, I believe God can wash away all our junk, I believe in His grace and mercy... and I decided that I've seen what sex can do to a woman (and a man) if not handled the right way. I've seen women have bonds with men because of this, they can't seem to let go. I've been there myself. I also believe the word of God, and if I'm gonna really live for Him (and yes, please don't state the obvious that I fall short on a very regular basis) that means I have to let all the parts of my life be surrendered to Him.
I know what society says, I've heard it said (and said it myself) "what happens if you're not compatible that way?" Well, I have to trust God. With everything. He doesn't say "trust me as much as you feel comfortable, He just says TRUST ME.
So I meet this amazing guy. You can check out my facebook, and yes, I can't believe I said that live on my blog (I must be brave today) but he already knows I think he's amazing. And thankfully a strong man because I got quite a personality... lol. And he treats me better than I deserve and it just blows me away when he just simply says "my job"
He had inspired me to read in the morning (I could write a whole post on this alone) since he gets up well before the crack of dawn (and we go to bed the same time because we're on the phone :) ) and so... today I was reading Phil 1, and it said:
3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
7It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. 8God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
And I thought, this is really hard for me (the no sex thing) but how God has so worked in my heart about this issue. And I totally know it seems crazy, but I know that in this God won't stop working in my heart, that in all things, He is with me, that in all things He cares for me, and loves me, and that even in this (seemingly) small thing, it is going bring Glory to God, the only One who deserves it, the ONLY One who is Worthy (WORTHY!!). And how greatful I am He has begun a good work in me, in so many ways.
I can't even tell you how thankful I am to God. I can't tell you how amazing His grace is, you have to just trust and accept it yourself. And know you really really don't deserve it.
2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me