Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

There is usually a song that “sticks with me” for a long time. For quite a long time it was “Inside Out”, it was my ringer, it was the cry of my heart. And for that last six months (or so) it’s been the Desert Song by Hillsong.

This song sings to me on so many levels. When I’m full, when I’m emptied. It reminds me lately how good God is. When we get what we want or when we don’t. We talked in our meeting last night about God last night. In that time, we also had a prayer time, I was just sitting there thinking about how I was so scared to lead a core group and even though I’m still a little scared, I think I am realizing how God is using me, in so many ways, and how thankful I am, and how when I’m empty, He fills me up, and when I’m full, He sends me out to be emptied again. I am so blessed to have the gift of encouragement. A smile, a note, a hug. It’s a blessing. It’s not really something that you can hold in your hand, but it far more precious than that.

I was reading 1 Thes the other day, I actually started in Chapter 4 and read until the end of 2 Thes, quite a bit stood out, but one verse just spoke such life to me… 1 Thes 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

I’ve been really thinking I need a mentor. I’ve had people in my life that have “mentored” me in small ways that ended with big results, but I’ve never really had an “official” one. And then I started thinking last night, instead of having my own, that I should mentor someone (another young woman) in that time. I know, you’re thinking “does she really need another ‘something’?” but let me say this, if I’m not living my life for God, then really what’s the point? Getting up and having breakfast and walking with/alongside someone in His name, is there anything better?

This is what I’m kind of heading towards, helping young women do things for cheap. Look at things differently, meal planning, better choices, I still make poor money choices, but I am blessed that I can make a quality meal for $6. And what good is a gift if other’s can’t enjoy it? My God is a God who provides

Or maybe it’s a bible study twice a month for the female Alive/Fuel leaders. Maybe it’s two of us, maybe its 10, I don’t know. This I do know, Youth Ministry can be brutal, but it can also the most rewarding thing you’ll do in your life. We must lift each other up, we need to not only serve together, we need to live alongside one another, love each other, stay focused, and as the song says “be filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow”.

And while I’m going on and on (hey, it’s my blog… you know where the X is)…

For the last year, one of the leaders I serve with has always been “it sounds horrible when you swear”… yeah yeah, I know. I said to him once (insert snitting voice here) “when you quit smoking I’ll quit swearing”. Late December he tossed a box of nicorette at me. Oh $***! Yikes! Well, let me tell you, he quit smoking and I did NOT quit swearing, it’s better than I was, but not where I’d like to be. I know I'm stubborn, but I can't do it on my own.

Like most things in my life, my behavior is a symptom of the problem. Too fat, swearing, etc. So I really started thinking about why I swear. The tongue is the mouthpiece to our heart, right? (Psalm 5:9 Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit.) I asked for prayer yesterday. I want my tongue to mimic how I want my heart to be. It’s not about the swearing, because I could replace “son of a B” with son of a biscuit-head or “F” with fudge, or S*** with shoot, but really, my heart is still the same. I want my heart to be full of love and joy and I want my mouth to speak of such things.

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

So, there’s a lot going on in my heart, crazy good stuff. Thinking about a God who wants all of me, and that I need all of Him and all that He has to offer, let nothing stand in my way to get there. Let me grow in Him everyday, let me feel His love more everyday, let me see it, and let me give it away as freely as it came to me, full of grace and completely undeserved.

And yes, I realize, I post this song A LOT!!

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow


Constance said...

Girl, go ahead and post this song every single day if you want to! Hillsong is my absolute favorite and like you this song has touched me in ways I never knew I needed. Right now it's "SOON" by Brooke Fraser that is melting my heat!

Constance said...

besides melting my "heat", it's melting my heart as well! Ha Ha!