When I think of prideful, I think of someone who thinks themselves better than others… and I don't think of myself as prideful, but today it was pointed out in me (by me) that I have an issue with pride (and confirmed by someone else).
And we can just start with the whole I hate to ask for help. I do, seriously, I think I could be drowning and I wouldn’t ask for a life preserver until I was SURE I couldn’t save myself. And so it goes in my life.
I have often put myself in bad situations, being a single mom and really having to scrap (fight) my way to a better life than the one that I was choosing. I started out as a coorindater/secretary in my job, to program manager and currently in sales. Fighting and pushing and learning to be something better for me (not that those are bad professions, I just wanted more). I’ve fought for my daughter and her health, and EVERYONE knows that if in any way I feel like Phyllis is in danger of any kind, you might meet Jesus a little sooner than you expected.
I have 5 cakes for the shower tomorrow. And you know how hard it was just for me to ask someone to pick them up? I have no way to transport 5 cakes (1/2 sheet cakes) and finally I was like “what are you nuts? She volunteered, quit trying to rob her of the blessing of helping you just because you don’t want to ask for help” and so I did.
I have no issues helping people if I have the means (and sometimes when I don't), I actually love it… I don’t know why I think others aren’t the same way.
I have another thing that someone wants to help me with. And to be honest, I can’t figure out why. Maybe they just want to be kind, but I’m having such a hard time with it. Maybe I need not figure out why they want to but why I won’t let them.
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.