Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Working on me...

Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart
I believe that some things should be put in writing. I also believe that some things should never be put in writing. Telling someone that you're supposed to love that when they stand in front of you, that you don't like them, is something that probably shouldn't be put in writing. Because it gets read over and over.

And the person relives is almost everytime they see you or they talk to you. It's hell for the reader/reciever. If you must say something like that to someone, a) make sure you don't plan on seeing them again, otherwise it's quite hurtful and b) make sure that they are very forgiving, because that's mean.

Someone said that to me, and while I can forgive them, I can't seem to forget. It's something I wish I could forget because of it's hurt. I think that if I had one quality of God's, besides giving out never ending love and grace, I'd chose to forget when people hurt me. Then having neverending grace and love would be so easy. Oh... to be more like Him and less like me. oh... my... my heart aches for such peace.

Today I realized something... maybe that person who said that to me doesn't really know me, because they just don't want to. (I finally threw away the letter because I kept inflicting pain upon myself by reading it and reading it and reading it and I was sick of satan using it for mass destruction - and if you know me when I'm hurt, you know what I mean). Or maybe it's not that they don't want to, its just that they don't know how to. I'm not sure. But I think realizing that it's not me, yes, I'm not perfect, but when I allow God to work in and through me, I shine. Its funny, the thing about me is that a lot of people think they know me... but they don't. Even those in my family, they think they know me, but they don't. Yes, I'm an open emotional book, but you've got to really read that book to know me. Most people (and this part isn't about just me, its about everyone) don't bother to get to really know people. They do that superficial thing... but they don't know.

And maybe that lesson is for me, to get to know people better, but to let people get to know me better. I think if we want to love, we have to allow ourselves to be loved.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” ~ David Viscott

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