Today after a tearful outburst, I just asked God to surround me. I don't usually pray for myself. And it was a long cry, it was crying but it was also crying out.
I wasn't expecting today. It was something that completely caught me off guard, it wasn't something I was expecting, I was in the middle of a bible study.
As I walked into the church with a heavy heart and lots to do... I had this crazy self talk going on, I was trying to be positive. I was trying to keep my mouth shut as much as possible, because I know that it is when I am hurting (and busy) that my motorboat mouth will outrun my rowboat brain, then it's a lot of back tracking to apologize, and a lot of ground lost. And so I really did try to do my best.
Funny, in the ironic way, that we studied James 1 today. Count it all Joy! Oh man! I just laughed. That was my favorite chapter when I first became a Christian because it seemed that something was always happening... and it usually sucked!
We sang a new song today for us, Joy will come by Desperation Band. WOW! It blew me away.
You see I know that in all things, He is. I know that everything that happens is for my good, but better, His glory.
James 1:2-18 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.