Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I wish I could say...

I try to be careful about what I write here. Even though they are my feelings and its my blog, but in the end, it's God's story in my life and so sometimes, as much as I'd like, I have to be honoring to that. (and sometimes I get a note from Sara - or someone else, that says 'remove that post)

I have indeed talked to people about what's bothering me, and I have gotten quite a bit of wisdom from people, and I have been told that I am helping others because of the way I am dealing with it. But it's not easy.

I wish I could just talk to the person who continues to hurt me, however, in the past when I have done that, they tell me I'm depressed and need to get on medication. And while I believe that may be necessary for some people (and there is certainly nothing wrong with that) that is not my issue. I just want them to maybe take responsibility for their actions as well as say "I'm sorry I told you in a letter that I don't like you, I may have meant it, but I'm sorry I hurt your feelings".

I wish that if it is true that they don't like me, that they would just cut me loose instead of dragging me along. I mean, it would hurt, A LOT, but if that's how you feel, then that's how you feel, let's face it and move on, because clearly, I can't do it on my own. But know if you do that, understand all the implications of that choice.

And if they didn't mean it (that they didn't like me), or meant it in the heat of the moment, I wish they would just say they are sorry and take actions to repair the relationship.

I don't think that either one of those two actions is too much to ask for, and one more thing, all must be done in person, because that's the grown up thing to do.

Luke 11:9-10 "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened

1 comment:

Sara said...

i sometimes feel like i deleter as many posts as i post, and another good portion get permanently saved in drafts! since none of us can make another person meet us halfway, i'll join you in praying. love you.