more shushing....

Its one of those things, I don't want to have to say I'm sorry, not because I don't want forgiveness but because I don't want to hurt anyone, and if I don't hurt anyone, then I don't have to say I'm sorry.  For any hurt I cause, intentionally and unintentionally.

Its hard for me though, if I hold in one emotion, I hold them all in.  Because if I'm hurt or mad, if I start laughing, I'll cry, or if I say one little thing about me hurting, I'll start to cry.Its like when you hold things in, your blood pressure goes up.  People sometimes ask me if I have high blood pressure because I am a little on the high strung side... lol...  but in reality its not, because I don't hold things in.  The only time I've ever known that I had high blood pressure (officially) was when someone gave me a hard time on the phone while I was about to get checked out by the doctor.  They had to take it 4 times, finally that fourth time it came down (after I cried) otherwise it was medicine for me...

There are two things that worry me about holding things in... one - that I'll blow up like a big stick of dynamite and that will be bad.  The other is that if I hold one emotion in, I'll hold back love.  And that would be horrible for me.

I hope in this time while I'm shutting up, God speaks really loud!

1 Samuel 3:10 10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

Comments

Momma said…
The verse that comes to mind is: James 1:19
My dear, brothers take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (NIV)

I wish I was better at that. I think especially for women talking is so natural it gets us into trouble.

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he holds his toungue is wise. (NIV)

Praying for you and me friend that we can learn to be of less words and more wisdom! Love Ya!
Trish said…
We surely have to watch our tongues...especially when our attitudes are not quite right. I tend to get quiet when someone speaks unkind words...Oh, I think plenty, but most times keep my mouth shut. I don't know if that's good, because carrying around unspoken grief can be a hard thing and cause health problems and big time anxieties.
Louise said…
I'm a lot like Trish ... hold my tongue & stay quiet when someone says something I don't like. I'm not one to confront people, probably to my own harm at times. The key is learning to calm down before responding, despite how badly we want to lash out.
You're growing & learning & that's a good thing.