I feel like when things seem really great, God is about to wreck me. And so it goes...
Yesterday my dear friend went into surgery for a biopsy only for the doctors to find out that it wasn't a tumor after all. And I said something to the affect like satan said "i might as well go home, i can't shake her, besides, her friends are sending up prayers on her behalf" and moved on.
And I thought "what if everytime there was a need we prayed like that". Everytime there was a friend, a family member, someone with a cold (because if you're wore out its difficult to advance, especially toting a box of tissues) we just instantly sent up prayers. What if when we didn't see someone for a while, whether its our family, someone in our church, our life group, we PRAYED. Heartfelt, prayers. "God its not ok down here, we need You" prayers.
I feel like I'm praying a lot. Would I say I am praying unceasingly? Probably not.
Yesterday I left a meeting. Upset. Again leaving this one place feeling like I don't matter. And it was the 3rd time I felt that way in two hours by the same people. And was angry. So I left, I wanted to yell and get mad, I started to and I just said "you know what? I need to shut up" and I left because in my head I thought "it doesn't matter because I don't matter". And I prayed. There was nothing else I could do. I had a choice I guess, I could have told people off, but that's not a good one. But prayer. Good choice.
I prayed for my girls and my students
I prayed that I wouldn't feel so alone
I prayed that people would be respectful of other's time, and I prayed that I would have grace when they aren't.
I prayed for the people I know that are sick
for the awesome person who text me last night
I prayed that the Word of God would resonate in my heart and my head
I prayed for myself more than I usually do
And a whole lot more
And lastly, I fell asleep praying that the unedited version of our lives would be pleasing to God. Because right now, I don't think it is.
Col 1:9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding