Almost every Sunday I make dinner for the Alive Leaders. It all started out of obedience and it continues because of obedience.
And a lot of times, that’s the absolute truth. Though there isn’t any other kind of truth besides absolute, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog. This is a true story of how it came about and how I feel about it. I’m telling this story because I feel like sometimes people see me as this huge ‘giver’ and I want you to know that I am real, and I do struggle, but I know in the end, God’s way is best.
I don’t know what meeting it was, but there was a meeting that Adam said, as Alive leaders, we need to serve the students, serve the church, and serve each other. And in my head I thought, I got 2 out of 3 but that’s not bad. And anyway, what could I do to serve them, half the time I invite them over and they don’t show up, a lot of times I don’t even think they like me. Serve them? How?
God: “feed them”
Me: “feed them?”
God: “yes, feed them”
Me: “ I don’t wanna”
God: “did I give you a choice, feed them on Sundays”
Me: “come on, don’t I do enough on Sundays, they probably won’t even appreciate it”
God: “Feed them, and anyway, its not about them, its about Me”
Me: “UGH! Ok, but You better bring me some food, there is a lot of them”
So since then, I’ve been feeding them, I occasionally don’t, and believe it or not, I ask God for permission to take a Sunday off. Sometimes I just have way too much on my plate and I can’t. But I always give it much consideration when I don’t.
Sometimes I love it, most weeks I love it. I love feeding people. I love when I make meatballs and noodles or rice because everyone is super happy. I love it when something turns out super good from ordinary stuff. One time I had chicken, green beans, potatoes (I thought it was SO good, and there was none left), and sometimes I make this chicken dip stuff with tortilla chips, I think they would like the crockpot clean if I let them. One time someone made a comment like I just throw whatever I have together and call it dinner. I said yes, that is true. And I was SO angry, I wrestled with God about doing it anymore because I said “See, he’s not even grateful”. God said, “its not about him, its about Me”. UGH! When I’m scrubbing my crockpot because no one ever offers to wash it, it makes me sad. And I’m not saying that because I want them to (but it would be nice), it makes me sad because they never offer and it doesn’t occur to serve that way.
Sometimes I know that if I didn’t cook, they wouldn’t eat, and its apparent when they have to run to McDonalds for dollar menu because I couldn’t cook. People have thanked me saying that they wouldn’t eat if I didn’t cook, and that makes me happy. Not going to lie, sometimes it feels good to be Jesus with a few fish and a couple loaves of bread.
This week was hard to cook, which is why there is this blog. Its “sketti mac”. Because its macaroni, spaghetti sauce, hamburger, and cheddar cheese. I made caeser salad, and strawberry pretzel jello. 90% of these ingredients I already had at home, that is what God provided. When I make meals like this, I think of that person who made that comment, and all I can say is that is what God gave me to make, and so that is what we have. Waste not want not. I will feed about 20-30 or so people and it cost about $5 today. When I serve them, I am serving Him.
I love the people I serve with, and I am glad to feed them, and serve them, because I know that God is using me, even if sometimes we have a wrestling match inside. I know that sometimes we have to be obedient, because after all, it is not about us, it truly is about Him. We love, because He loved us first. (1 John 4:19)
Luke 9:13 He replied, "You give them something to eat."