To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. ~David Viscott
Its one of my favorite quotes.
I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I was meant to love from the very beginning. I don’t really always do it all that great, and when I’m hurt, I’m even stinkier at it. But from the core of my being, all I want to do is love.
I can’t put into words what this week has been to me, the only day I didn’t cry was Monday. I’ve been so hurt. One by someone who had acted like they were my friend, that they cared about me, and truly it just isn’t that way. I don’t know what I did, if I did anything, I just know that I am tired of wondering how I can fix it. I just decided (and I should have decided this long ago) to put it at the feet of Jesus, continue to be the love I can be, and pray that the relationship is restored. Maybe to some it wouldn’t matter, but to me it really really does.
Then another situation came up and I’ve been asked (told) to do something that I don’t like doing, that from my core I believe to be wrong.
Today, I went to see Eat Pray Love. I walked out kind of just melancholy. It was so good, I love Love and so of course, I loved the movie. Just struggling all week, and I’ve been asking God to speak to me, and He has, I just want to get to the root of this pain so I can pull it out like a bad weed and move on with my bad self.
The root. Love.
You can’t uproot love.
The pain comes from the absence of love.
I wasn’t really paying attention to the song playing in the car, and all of a sudden, this came on…
In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high
I thought back earlier in the week walking out the door, and I just started singing this. It was my prayer that day, I had no words, but I had this bridge to ‘Came to my rescue’ and as it came on today, I was just sobbing. At the core of my being, that love, its God. In all I do, in all the ways I love, I want Him to be the center. I think of those hurting, of those who I’ve hurt, for those who have hurt me, let it all be gone, because of His love.
Not always do I do the right thing, I often fail miserably at a lot of things, and often I don’t love like I want to, or should, but everyday, I want It to be my core, His love.
I want to feel the sun on both sides.
1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.