Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Getting filled up

I don’t feel ‘good’. And warning you now, my heart is crazy – and so my thoughts are too, and so there is a lot of rambling ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

I’m stretching, and sometimes we stretch and we don’t feel that good, stretching to the point to what I refer to as ‘the pull’ stretching until we might actually pull something. Staying in the ‘safety zone’.

I’m super flexible, I bet you didn’t know that about me. Almost pretzel like. Weird. But that’s my body, not my spirit. My spirit is sometimes as rigid as a 4 x 4. Even though I jump out, I do it unwillingly but I do it out of obedience, I completely do things afraid and often feel like I’m in the dark, alone. Although I know that’s not true.

Yesterday I read my daily devotional check it out here, I had been praying that the ‘right’ one would come along and I’d be like ‘yes, I could read this everyday’ (ever notice how our emails can get filled up with stuff we just don’t read), so after checking out the website for a week I finally got up the ‘courage’ to subscribe. Lol, I’m such a nerd. Anyway it was about running, and why the author of the devotional runs and her feelings about it.

About 6-7 years or so ago I ran, I worked out 8 times a week, yes, that’s right, 8, 5 days I ran, 3 days I did two-a-days. Yes, I was hot. But now I’m starting to feel beautiful (GASP I SAID IT!) but my running was because I wanted to escape from who I was, running away from something is never good, unless you have a destination in mind of a new ‘place’. I started this crazy Biggest Loser contest, regained my love of running, but I don’t run as an escape anymore, I run for clarity, its amazing what an hour away from the distractions of life can do for you, its amazing the amount of stress that can be released each time your foot hits the pavement or with each endorphin. But I run towards who God has for me to be. Each step a step closer to Him.

Last night I was lying in bed, I was kind of feeling… empty… I was feeling like a shell. And I was writing about it (not going to share sorry) but then I got this visual of an empty bottle. Ready to be filled up. And so I grabbed my bible and my bible study and did a couple sections of it. After I was done, I was so happily surprised about the filling up that was done by the Holy Spirit. I guess if you want a drink, you should go to the well! How about that!?!

Psalm 41

Isaiah 40:29-34
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

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