Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, September 04, 2010

I'm not what I once was...

So I just watched this video, I was super excited to see it! I couldn’t wait!

Then I saw it. The first 5 seconds I gasped! It was my ‘I am Metro’ video. I look horrible. Not to be overly dramatic, but let’s face it, I look like jabba the hut from Return of the Jedi, I even have a green shirt on! Fat AND ugly.

You know what I think so much about? You know the part that hurts me the most, is really how I look, I know I’ll never see those numbers again, but how many people in the last few years told me I was beautiful! Are you kidding me? You are all LIARS! I see myself, you wonder why I never wanted to be in pictures or videos, because I guess maybe I always new that I looked like that but truly didn’t want to believe it.

I just think of how many people told me I was beautiful. It makes me sick. SICK SICK SICK! I don’t really expect that someone would say to me ‘hey fatso, drop a few pounds, its no wonder you’re lonely, you look like a pig” but why did everyone lie? That’s what I want to know. Why did you allow me to believe that I was beautiful?

What am I thankful for, now that I’ve seen the video? I’m thankful, as Birdie says in Hope Floats “I’m not who I once was”. Because I’m not, sure I have a long way to go, but I am not who I once was, and that was certainly good motivation…

As in Col 4:5 it says “make the most of every opportunity” well, in this case, it means pushups/crunches/dips and running whenever the opportunity presents itself.



People who call you beautiful aren't liars, they are truth-tellers. Outward appearances don't make a person beautiful any more than a banana can become a cucumber by being painted green. Some of the ugliest people I have met would be considered "beautiful" on camera, but their hearts, actions, and words scream UGLY and quickly cover anything that might be pleasing to the eye. It's incredibly sad to me that this world tells those made in the image of God, "unless you fit this mold, you are unacceptable." What does God find beautiful and how do I want to be judged???? The UNFADING beauty of a heart fully surrendered to him.

...just some thoughts from someone who thinks you are BEAUTIFUL and I may be a lot of things, but I most certainly am not a liar.

Jada's Gigi said...

I have never seen you with my eyes...only with my spirit...and my spirit does not lie..cause God lives duh! love you sister..and i promised once to never tell you again that you are I won't now...;)