Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Its 3 in the morning

Its been quite a week to say the least. TGIF

Lucky number 13
13. what are you afraid of the most?
Being who I used to be

Yesterday I was told something. I was not happy about what I was told. I didn't even know what to say. Sometimes 'I'm sorry and I loveyou' have to be enough, because that's all there is.

My heart was breaking, it was sad and furious all that the same time.

Now, I'll tell you that I really super wanted to go get some ice cream. And then I remembered my friend's post the other day 'if hunger is not the problem, than eating is not the solution'. No going to Meijer to get a half gallon (which are now 1.75 BTW) of ice cream. What I really needed was for God to speak to my heart. I needed Him. And so I knew it wouldn't be a long run, because I REALLY hate running in the dark, but I threw on my headphones and ran. I wasn't finding music to be very soothing to my soul, and quite often music opens my heart so that God can get in. Maybe that's not right but that's how it is. "I don't want to forgive, do You hear me, I don't want to" God kept speaking. He through His Word at me, spoke to me but then I remembered Sarah's post the other day 'Forgiven people forgive'. Ugh. I know but I don't want to. And so then, I started praying because I thought 'that is who you used to be' and it freaked me out, because I remembered I had just written that was what I was most afraid of. Then that song 'Shackles' by Vicki Winans came on. My heart just rejoices that God has given me freedom. I just prayed and worshipped and ran!

Forgiven people forgive. My heart is not completely right, but its on the mend. Forgiveness is the key.

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children”- Ephesians 5:1

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