This is how a lot of conversations go when someone sees me…
“hi, how are you?”
We exchange a few things… and then “how’s your marathon training going?”
And then a whole bunch of self loathing and scariness goes on in my head.
I like to be honest…
So here’s me being honest.
I don’t want to do the marathon.
I don’t think I’ll be ready, truly, because I don’t have time to train correctly.
I want to run the half, and I want to run the half, well. I want to run the whole half instead of walking, running, crawling the whole marathon. How you like them apples?
But then I feel like a jerk, because I told people I’d do the whole thing, and I like to be a woman of my word, I feel like a failure (and I haven’t even failed yet!).
I like to do things well, I like to do them with excellence, because, after all, excellence is honoring to God. Half-butting it in anything, is not.
So, I don’t know what to do. I’m praying about it, and even though there may be looks of disappointment and people saying ‘I knew she couldn’t or wouldn’t ‘ it might just have to be ok.
I’m putting this at the feet of Jesus and letting Him guide me instead of the stupid voices in my head.
And it’s not that I think that I can’t, because I can. Just not sure it’s the right time.
“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”” - Zephaniah 3:17