I can't stop crying, or at least I can't stop choking back the tears. (get it?) I finished the picture board for her party, we are having a video too, it will probably be 20 minutes long! and I just found some pics I forgot sheesh!
I just sent my girl off to prom. And I think that people think I'm crying because my baby is growing up, but really that's not it.I'm crying because I'm overwhelmed by how amazing she turned out, how beautiful she is, by God's grace, and how many people love us! I'm also overwhelmed with all the things that have to happen in the next three weeks! (Picture board is done! but I can't find the modge podge stuff to decoupage)
I was thinking about how at 5 days she smiled, and her smile has lit up my life ever since. I thought about when my dad was going to grow a mustache she said "you can't grandpa, how will I recognize you". I thought about zoo trips, and ice cream and trying out for the Rockettes, and baseball and girl scouts, I've thought about hugs and kisses and how she leans in when she knows I want to kiss her head. I think about the mom I am and the mom I could have ended up being (not good), I think about how I could have done it better, but how I really am a good mom. I think about how everything I've ever done has always really been about her.
Being a mom isn't easy, under the best of circumstances but being a single mom is HARD. People say that I make it look easy, but it's not, why do you think I never stop?
I'm just so incredibly thankful. If you would have asked me 19 years ago if I wanted to be a mom right now, I would have said no, but how thankful I am that God knows best. it's true. Father knows best!