So if you know me at all, you know that over and over I would say that I would never, I MEAN NEVER, go on an overseas mission trip. Now, when I say that… I always have supported overseas mission trips in various ways, I just didn’t want to go! I heard all the stories, have seen lives changed… but no thank You…
So what does God do? Puts me with a bunch of peeps who say ‘let’s go dig a well’ yeah, so I can’t say no to that. So in 2012 I am going to El Salvador to dig a well, and love peeps. I wonder how many dresses and shorts I can make for the little peeps there? Hmmmm…. We do now have two sewing machines in our house...
But even before the trip to El Salvador was even brought to my heart… Two little babies came and stole my heart. I prayed for these boys before I knew them. I loved them so much, before I ever laid eyes on their perfect chocolate skin and beautiful dark eyes. Before I was able to kiss their cute little cheeks or hear them say ‘I love you’ or laugh they had me wrapped around their cute pudgy fingers. The first pictures of them were more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, and when it says that we were made in His image, when you look at those boys, you truly can see the beauty of Jesus.
So here I am… Reading this STUPID (it’s not really stupid at ALL! It’s an amazing book!!!) called Compelled to Love. 3 words… say them with me… OH MY WORD! I can only read 1 chapter at a time because I am so engrossed in it, because I just pray and pray and pray and hear God speaking to my heart. ‘You were made for such a time as this’ I just want to get into a plane and head over to Africa and love these lovelies. Ok, but let’s not be hasty, you can’t just get in a plane a head to Africa. DUH! Because I’m not ready. Financially, I’m not ready. Spiritually, not ready. There’s much to be done.
I have to be honest about something. Saturday I could have easily made a poor choice. One that would have done quite a bit of damage. I don’t know at what point I heard God say ”don’t” and I didn’t. But this I know… had I done it, I would have been very sorry. I am sorry that I even THOUGHT about it. But on Sunday, I was praying through songs, praising His love for me, and at some point I thought ‘I’m glad I didn’t, my prayer would have been a lot different” and as I was praising Him, and praying, I was just so thankful that I spent that awesome time in prayer. I felt so close to Jesus. I knew that my heart would have been crying “I’m sorry I’m sorry” but instead it was “You are worthy, You are worthy” and I think I would have wasted time.
I was reading that book today thinking about how the last day or two I’ve thought about Him, and what He wants me to do… About why it’s important to do as He says, not as the world says. Sure it’s not easy, but it is worth it. The path to destruction is so wide, and it leaves a lot of people in a mess. I imagine running down a dusty dirty path with people standing and as I run, everyone gets dirty. But the path that He has us on, is beautiful, colorful, full of flowers and beautiful greenery. And as we walk down it, others follow us, because they know we have something different, and all those people see God’s beauty too.
For awhile, I’ve wanted to go to Africa, thinking that it was never possible. But with God, all things are possible. So I will prepare, in a lot of ways. Each decision I make, will have eternity in mind. Not just mine, but beautiful babies with chocolate skin and dark eyes, that capture your heart and then melt it. Beautiful babies that are the true reflection of God.