I had a situation come up Monday where someone said to me ‘you need to step up your game’. He also said it to someone else and both of us were in SHOCK because the reason there was an open issue and delay was because of him. I have been told a lot of things but the need to ‘step up my game’ has NEVER been one of them. More often it is ‘slow down’ or ‘chill out’ or ‘take a break’ or ‘quit being so aggressive’. For a moment, I didn’t even believe what I heard. I thought it was a mistake. Then I saw the other person’s face and I knew I heard correctly. I am sure that Jesus must have had His hand over my mouth, and I think I was just in shock and couldn’t move or even think.
I chose to not do anything at the moment, I noted a few things to him, but I chose to go with the ’24 hour rule’. In case you don’t know what that is… be enlightened. It is where you wait 24 hours to address a situation so that you are not being driven by emotion but by data (facts) - sometimes it take 48 or 72 hours. I decided to address formally (email). My email was still a little ‘hot’ because it seemed the more I thought about it, the more upset I was that someone would attack my work ethic and my integrity. After writing the email, I decided to breathe and walk away from it.
I kept struggling because of Grace.
I thought maybe that guy really didn’t realize what he said or how it would come across. Maybe he knew that he was the one at fault and not everyone reacts correctly when backed in a corner. Maybe… Maybe sometimes I’ve been extended grace when I’ve said something that was offensive. oh boy.
I knew in this situation that I was in the right. But there are many situations that I am not.
Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye
I was talking to a beautiful friend the other day and we were talking about how people say things to us and we are not always sure how to react or how to judge it. I picked up my bible and said ‘this is my ruler, this is my gage’. If what they say can be backed up by the bible, then I know it is Right and True (Phil 4:8-9). If it is not, I may take it into account, but it’s not the way I gage things. And if I chose to live (and die) the bible then I better be willing to walk the walk not just talk the talk.
And the truth is that I knew that nothing good would come from the email. I knew that it could, and probably would cause more friction, and the actual offense was probably not going to be addressed anyway, so what was the point?
Since I am a very emotional person, good and bad, I try to remember that I live (walk) by faith not by feelings (sight) (2 Corin 5:7). That is SO difficult for me. When something happens, I want to react. God must have wound me pretty tight when He made me, and I know that given the right situation, being high-strung can be a good thing, I just have to always work on making sure it is used for good, not evil. (just so you are aware, how emotionally ‘charged’ I am… I’ve probably cried about this 4 times because I just need a release and going around hitting people is not always an option!)
I don’t know if I did the right thing, truly, because I’m still upset about it. Not as upset as Monday and Tuesday, but again, I live by faith not by feelings.
Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.