Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

He > me

John 3:30
He must become greater; I must become less. (NIV)
He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. (NLT)
This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines. (msg)
He must increase, but I must decrease. [He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.] (amp)
He must increase, but I must decrease (esv)
He must become greater, and I must become less important (ncv)

Picture from here
So everytime I read the bible I ask God to have something stick out to me.  Something that He wants me to know or learn.  Today while reading John 3 it was verse 30. I read the NIV, and I know this verse well.  I have a shirt on it, that I love, that I wear when painting since I always believed that I couldn’t paint but since I really do believe that I can do all things through Christ, I wear that shirt to paint so I remember that He is greater than me, so I can paint.  (sometimes I am a little slow so I must wear T-shirts to remember).

So while running today, it was a great run, but it wasn’t one of those ‘BAM’ moments where God blows me away, I think most of the time it was me trying not to die, and Him sending the wind to push me up the hills of TC, that weren’t even really hills just seemed like it at the time.  At some points they seemed like Mt. Everestt.  I was expecting some big things.  God does a lot of great things in me when I am running.  I am a good captive audience.

But not much went on until I was talking to my friend on the phone who had to put me on hold… I was telling her about my trip a little, and a few of the things that have me a little anxious, and then I told her about the fundraiser.  I’m excited about doing the fundraiser, I am not excited about having to ask others for money.  And I’ve been nervous about writing this post because I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings but there are a few things that I’m anxious about and how I am feeling, and I’ve always tried to be honest on here, and as I type, God works on me and so as I always try to be, this is me, I’m a little annoyed that God is not giving me a get out of jail free card on this (and this is one of those times I wish He would!  But I know that He’s got to wreck me sometimes to build me back the way I should be)

I hate asking people for money.  I just do.  It’s a total pride thing. I get it.  I never really realized it, but then one day… I realized…  pride.

I don’t want to wear a yellow shirt.  This is not something that I am going to throw a fit over, D’s favorite color is yellow, it’s easily visible in an airport, I just don’t like it.  Ask me what color I think it better, not one visible in an airport.  I look terrible in yellow.  Yellow is fine.  Pride. Ugh:/

I am the only person not going as twosome.  Almost everyone is married, and there is one mom/daughter group.  Phyllis isn’t going, she doesn’t feel right, she had a stomach ache everytime she prayed about it.  It’s going to be just fine.  But it makes me feel a little lonely, that’s all, and I’m not even there yet.  And everyone has known each other for a long time.  And I love all the people I am going with it seems that they so instinctively know what the others are thinking and I just sit there sometimes thinking “you’re so dumb”.  It is NOT how they make me feel, it is how I make me feel.

As I was thinking about all these things, praying about them God said, I need to be bigger.  Remember, NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT YOU!  Yes, He said it all in caps.  I know it is not about me! I KNOW IT!  I asked God to break me down and work on the things I need working on.


Little me.


Little me.

I know that people want to help donate.  I always want to, so why is it that I think it is ok to rob someone of a blessing?  Yikes.

Yellow is a pretty color.  It’s in the rainbow (a rainbow  represents God's promise).  I need to find a fabulous lipstick to go with my shirt. 

God’s best just hasn’t arrived to me.  YET.  He will, when the time is right. I trust that God is going to do some amazing things through me, all by myself.  And Phyllis isn’t meant to go, or she would be.  And the people I am going with always do make me feel important and loved in their lives, because I AM!


Little me.

It’s not about me, never has been.

John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less. (NIV)

1 comment:

Jada's Gigi said...

Crying just now....