Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Making my mark

I’ve been struggling with a lot of things lately. Striving for ‘something more’ and feeling like it might be just around the corner, time is like a vapor, and our short years are filled with long days. And it’s no secret that I want to be married. I’ve always wanted to be married. How does someone who wants to be married so much find herself single? Well, she won’t settle. That’s right, I won’t settle for anything less than God’s best for me. What is God’s best look like for me? I have no idea. None. Is he tall? Short? What does he do for a living? I have no idea. This I do know… he will be a man who lives his life for God, with God, in full submission to God.

I’ve been struggling with all this because, after all, I want it… NOW. But being ‘just around the corner’ seems a long way away, like the last corner when you’ve run 13 miles. Even if it’s just 8 steps away, it almost seems like an eternity. 8 steps = eternity? Run 13 miles, you might begin understand. I feel like I should just be able to go find that perfect person for me. However, I KNOW that I am not smart enough to really figure out who that is. I have faith, that God has a plan, and it’s way better than mine. He’s is wiser than me.

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT) Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Evidence = proof

Assurance = full confidence

Here we go. Faith. Do I really trust God? I can see all the things He has done in my life (hind sight) but do I have faith that He will continue to do what He said He would? Do I trust Him? Can I say (in my actions) that His way is better than mine? Do I live out His commandments? DO I love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my spirit? Do I do the things (in His Word) to prove that? Placing others ahead of myself?

What is the evidence? When people look at my life, what do they see? It might scare me to get the answer.

A friend of mine gave me some great advice yesterday. He said that I’ve been to school, I’ve learned the Word, I’ve got the tools (kind of like college) and now it’s time to go use those tools, to live my life with purpose (the purpose to bring Glory to Him and to live out the greatest commandment), not sure how that will look, or if it will be on my own or married, but never by myself. God will set each step before me, in good and bad. In the sunshinie days and in the days that are shadowed with death, but He will never leave me. I’ll take my tools (bible) and keep going, keep living as He intends. Even when it’s hard. His way. I will trust Him in all the aspects of my life. As it is said “if Jesus isn’t Lord over all of your life, He isn’t Lord in any of it”.

I’m not giving up. I’ll make a heart shaped mark on the world. His way is best. When I can’t see what’s ahead, I’ll just keep walking in the steps set before me, under His wings.

2 Cor 7:1 (NLT) Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Sorry if this seems a little choppy, I'm working through ' stuff '


Matthew said...

OK, I know that "this stuff" is more significant than what the song speaks of (so please don't think I'm talking down to you), but when you talked about going through "stuff" it reminded me of this song. So while I know that your "stuff" is bigger, He still is using it ... :)

God loves you, and I'm so excited to see what and who He leads/brings to you :)

Blessings sister!

Jada's Gigi said...

His way...