Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, September 16, 2011

I feel like the worst mom ever!

Now, please know that I realize that I am not the worst mom ever!  But sometimes I feel like it.

1.  I just ordered Phyllis's senior pics like a week ago!  If you're wondering why you haven't gotten your thank you card yet, that's why.  I'm an idiot.  No excuses, I'm an idiot.

2.  I wish I would have saved for her college.  I know that, especially in the early years, there wasn't much to save, and as a single mom who never received a dime of child support things have been tough and tight always, but I wish I would have saved more.  I feel like I should have, even if it was $1000 a year, that's less than $100 a month.  I didn't have $100 a month? really?  I'm not fabulous with the finances but sheesh, what a failure! 

3.  Yesterday I yelled her for something that was bothering me but I shouldn't have gotten mad about and yelled.  No need to get upset, we could have just talked about it.

4.  I yelled at her about locking her keys in her car in Jackson (and i was in Kalamazoo) and the extra key was at home.  Ok, really, does it matter? The worst thing would have been that I had to drive all the way home but really I didn't even have to, I called road assistance and paid $35! big deal!  but why did I get so upset?  It really wasn't worth it. 

Ugh :/

I don't want sympathy, I'm just saying... I might lose my mother of the year award (LOL like I'd even be in the running for that!).  So all you peeps (the two of you) who think I'm a good mom... there you have it... I suck.

1 comment:

ERHildy said...

Hey Margie, we all make mistakes in life. My parents have done some of the same things on this list back when I was Phylis's age, but, the interesting thing, is that I hardly remember these things. I don't ever think about them either. Because, the amount of awesome things my parents have done in my life out weigh any mistakes they may have made. They loved me unconditionally, even when they were frustrated with me for the many mistakes that I made as a teenager. But, that's all that mattered to me, was that they truly loved me, and basically sacrificed their lives for me.

One thing I will mention though, you said that you wished you would have saved for Phylis to go to college. That to me is not a mistake. I'm sure many people would disagree with me, but, when a teenager hits the age of 18 - they are considered an adult. I would think that letting your daughter learn to become an independent adult, and work hard for the things that she wants - like her career, etc.. is a very healthy thing for her. There are so many people that have had to work a job or two, use financial aid, apply for grants, take out student loans - because their parents either couldn't afford it, or said that it was up to them to figure it out.

If she wants it bad enough, she will work hard for it. She will learn a heck of a lot from it too. It may be hard to watch her have to work hard for this. But, honestly it's got to be much more rewarding this way. I'm willing to bet that most successful entrepreneurs in this world, didn't make it there because their parents paid for their college.

You are doing a good job Margie! Don't get down on yourself. Sure you made mistakes, and I'm sure Phylis has made some too. I know that she loves and cares about you, and I'm sure she feels the same way that I did/do about my parents - the good out weighs any mistakes that were ever made.. so much, that they are totally forgotten about.

You're awesome! Keep loving Jesus, and loving Phylis. I'd say your one of the best moms out there! :)