Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Life as I feel it!

Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life.  I see my friends and I feel like I'm on the outside. I know I am not, but sometimes I feel like it.  Sometimes I stand and observe how lucky I am, how God has changed my heart and changed my life and sometimes I feel like I am that same person I was 10 years ago.  How is that?

Today my friend hosted a 'sprinkle' for a friend and I was so blessed to cook for it.  Those are the times when I think I am right where I belong.  This evening I am helping at a fundraiser and currently there are peanut butter cookies in the oven for it :)

I read a quote, and posted it this morning that said 'people cry, not because they are weak.  It's because they've been strong too long'.  I feel like I carry a lot of stuff, I hardly ever make a decision that doesn't include thinking about someone else, and how it may affect them.  I try really hard never to exclude anyone, because I hate to be exclude, and then usually something happens, something small, and I let it all go.  A couple weeks back, I was sitting talking to an old friend, someone I trust, and I just started crying.  I don't even remember what we were talking about, nothing earth shattering, I just remember dropping my guard for just a minute, and tears just started flowing, It's not often that I let that happen.  And when it does, it's a cleansing release.

Sometimes I realize I'm wound a little too tight and I've got to let go.

Right now as I seem restless and crazy, I won't act on feels but walk in faith.

2 Cor 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight

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