Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

My heart over the last week!

I haven’t written, not because I haven’t had anything to say, because I ALWAYS have something to say, which is often a hinderence.

It’s been quite a week, and for the most part, I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut because my Aunt Flo was about to visit, and she brings with her nastiness if you know what I am saying…  Yesterday while in the D after… losing my license (the card not the privilege to drive) so a trip to the Sec of State on W. Grand and Cass (great service, quick, friendly, well organized, Jesus music – Bebe & Cece Winans – ‘addicted love’ playing in the background), I wasn’t there for more than 10 minutes – how many times can you say ALL that about a SOS – baby –that’s why I love the D!), a trip to the bank, and off to my small group with a bunch of lovely ladies – I was hungry AND I hadn’t had any iced tea (a girl – well at least this girl, gets crabby in those conditions) I stopped at Starbucks and got not 1 but 2 iced teas.  I was wound up like a top!  Not good.  I got to my end destination and drank some tea and read the bible before my friends came!

So back to my week, I know that people think I’m this strong woman, but yesterday, I was sad, tired, angry, and fearful.  But I only really have one choice, because it’s the only option I give myself, trust God.  Because I know that He works it out for my good (no matter how much I screw it up)

Let’s go to the car situation! I am completely afraid of making the wrong choice in a car.  I am thankful that I don’t have $1000 to spend (I have more than that!) but I don’t want to make the wrong choice.  I wish God would just have someone call me and say ‘I’ve got this great deal’ and it be in my price range and I will then go on my merry way.  This is stressful and as much as I try to make the right decision for our family, it’s stressful.

Phyllis had her MRI this week, I’ve been praying and reading about what this whole knee thing could be…  I am still at a loss.  Again, fearful of making the wrong decision…

My friend asked us in our small group when you have gone through something, after it’s all over, do you now see the joy and the Glory in it? And when it comes to Phyllis’s health, the arthritis, I can see the Glory, I can see the good, but I don’t see the joy.

In this whole car thing, even though I hate it, I KNOW God is working it out for our good. I prayed that if it was best for the car to be totaled – then total it God, if it’s best for it to be fixed, then have that be that answer God. Whatever it is, I trust You.

I do trust God in all these things.  I trust Him in every trial. I was reading about Joseph last week, and through everything (and there was a lot of everything in Joseph’s life) over and over again it said ‘And the Lord was with Joseph’.  TROUGHROUGH IT ALL!  And I remember that. 

I was thinking about how many things I am afraid of!  Oh it drives me crazy!  At the core of most of the issues I have, there is some kind of fear.


A lot!!

I’ve been afraid so much of my life, that sometimes I don’t even know how NOT to be afraid.  But I also know that God’s word is true.  And for me, worrying is sin, because it means I am not trusting Him.  I believe that Jesus OVERCAME sin! And that means He has OVERCOME my fear too.  And so today as I was worshipping through song and through tears, I am going to just give this fear to Him.  Because He can overcome it!

He’s given me life!  He is my God of ALL things in my life, and I will trust Him.  And while I may not be completely successful at giving this to Him, I will strive to OVERCOME, through His blood, through His mercy, through His grace, through His love, this stupid fear that keeps me from going forward.

He WILL work it out for my good.  I believe that it was no coincidence that my scripture of the week last week was Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Look at The Message Version:

Romans 8:28 That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

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