Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, January 01, 2012

an unedited letter, straight from my heart...

Dear God,

Today is my birthday, well, you already know that.  You loved me before anyone else.  You stitched me into a womb that could have not supported me.  You gave me a mother, and a father, who chose to give me life, even though it meant that my mom would die.  I’m thankful that you breathed love into my mom’s heart. 

I think about this year God.  It’s been crazy.  And there were times when I was so mad and so angry, I wanted to put down your name for just a minute so I could go back to my old ways, knowing that I could always come back Lord.  I am thankful that I have seen your faithfulness in my life Lord, and I didn’t.  I walked, and sometimes crawled with your love and your word tightly stitched into my heart.

You’ve taught me to forgive Lord, so that I could forgive others. 

You’ve taught me a different love Lord, to love the slow.  I know that sounds nuts, but Lord, I’ve seen life from a different view.  I’ve been blessed to see the world from the hurting physically Lord. So many times I would plot my way around them, until I was one of them, and now I learn to slow my pace and pray.  Pray for the hurting, and their caregivers Lord. Thank You.

It seems that every year you increase my heart Lord, allowing me to love bigger than the year before.  Oh Lord, you trust me with so much, and sometimes I flounder and flop it and drop it and mess it up, and each time, I feel your love and see your faithfulness. 

It seems that I can seem to love you enough.  It seems that sometimes I can’t seem to serve you enough.  Lord forgive me for all the times I’ve said ‘what about me?’ let me only say ‘what is it that you want?’ Lord, send those to encourage me when I’m tired so that I can then pour that love and encouragement back out into others. 

Lord give me strength each day to love bigger than the day before. 

Lord I’m a little nervous about 2012, Lord, we both know I’ve got a knack for screwing things up, but Lord, let me live a life full of you!  There are big things that are happening, Phyllis going away to college, Lord, I need your provision.  And Lord, PLEASE Lord, heal her body Lord.  She’s got a life ahead of her, and I’m asking you, PLEASE heal her.  And give me wisdom and discernment to get the help she needs if going to a doctor is the way you are going to heal her.  Lord, help me to be compassionate and a loving caregiver to my girl.  Lord, I thank You for trusting me with her, we both also know that I didn’t deserve such an amazing girl!  She is surely yours, and I thank you for trusting me to be her momma.

Lord, I’m listening. Speak to my heart, guide my footsteps.  I’m yours.  And I’ll be eternally thankful all of my days!




Trish said...

Those who have the gift of giving and helps, sometimes feel neglected.I understand your thinking "what about me?" God made us this way, so we don't understand those who aren't doer's...but I remind myself that God gave them gifts too. They are just different. I love you and your servant's heart Margie.

Trish said...

Praying for our girls healing!

Netta said...

Your honesty brings such joy! :)