Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, February 24, 2012

I'm not afraid!

I have lived in fear almost all of my life. I actually can’t remember a time when I haven’t been afraid. 

Losing the one parent I had
Losing my daughter
Losing my own life (leaving Phyllis by herself)
Losing my job

Those are some big ones but I’ve been afraid of other things too.  Small things, things that probably don’t ever matter in the grand scheme of things but yet, I found myself afraid.  And fear is crippling.  And I have to battle it almost every day.  But I now don’t fight it on my own.  I repeat verses over and over in my head.  One thing a doctor told me to do was to write down all the things you’re afraid will happen for one month.  Put them in a box, at the end of the month make a pile of the things that actually happened.  None of them happened. It showed me that fear is ridiculous, and often I remember that exercise and it helps me to overcome.

 I also remember that I am an overcomer.  There is nothing in my life that can come up against me that is bigger than God.  And am I thankful for that!  I am also thankful that I’ve been praying the names of God because it brings peace of all that He is!

I will tell you that yesterday as I was serving in a Soup Kitchen/Church all of a sudden this overwhelming fear came over me that I’d lose my job and what if I had to eat in a soup kitchen.  OHMYWORD!  Of course in this economy there is always that chance, but for crying out loud there is no need to borrow trouble.  Sheesh!

I have a dear friend who also struggles with fear and so I was praying for her, and she has been in my constant thoughts. 
Fear is crippling
It is joy-stealing
It is complete work of the devil

God tells us so many times, don’t be afraid. DON’T BE AFRAID!  I’ve got it!  He tells us in Jer 29:11 – I’ve got you – I know what you need, I will take care of you, I’ve got some great plans!  In Matthew 6 He says hey, don’t worry, I care about lilies and sparrows, and I care so much more about you! 
I think about how much more we love things that we’ve made, and He made us in His image, and good parents watch out for their kids, they do not let things happen to them.  He loves us so much, He sent a Savior, and nothing can separate us from Him! That is something to rejoice in!  Doesn’t mean I don’t struggle, it just means I know where my hope is, I know who fights my battles, and that helps me love bigger, live for Him, and sleep at night!

1 comment:

Felisol said...

Well, you have found a sister soul in me. I am also afraid, but I know that God, counting every hair on my head also cares about my fears. "Never will I leave you nor will I forsake you" are his words.
I'm hanging on to them and that I intend to do in the time to come as well.
I have said a prayer for you just now.