I was thinking today how different I feel after going to Haiti. I keep saying things "will get back to normal, whatever that is." I don't know what normal is anymore... not that I was ever normal.
I feel like something is missing.
I don't know what it means to pack up all your stuff and move somewhere. I don't know what it means to be called to a place by God, other than just following His lead.
Am I called to Haiti full time? Oh I have no idea. What would I do once i got there? Only God can answer that. But I know I am called there in some capacity.
Do I feel like I left my own child there? Oh, I sure do! I'm listening and following God about what He wants me to do about that.
I do know one thing, I must love where I am, right now. I can't live my life missing something, meaning, missing an opportunity to love someone when they are standing in front of me, or within my reach.
We just finished the Detroit Mission Trip 2012. It was amazing. And hard. I loved the trip. I remembered why I fell in love with serving teenagers! I think that at one point (a few years ago), I was just so tired that I had to step back in order to keep my sanity, but I lost the vision that God had given me. Does that even make sense to anyone but me? There is something about teenagers. They are amazing. They are smelly, but they are amazing!
The trip was completely different than Haiti, but it was sooo good!! A lot of great things happened on the trip, it was amazing to see the kids, to see the awesome places that we worked with!
I don't know what lies ahead for me, or where I'll end up, but I know that I will follow Him, to go wherever He wants, and until then, I will love exactly where I am.
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.