I asked so many times for God to open my heart, to make help me love bigger than I had ever loved
before. I went to Haiti with so many
things that frightened me. I have had walls around my heart for so long that I’ve kind of just learned to function with
those walls, sometimes the view was only because I was on my tip-toes trying to
see over them. And that is no way to
live a life of love.
I was watching the Haiti video and I keep saying it, but
really, in my life I’ve never felt beautiful, it doesn’t matter how many times
people tell me, I never really feel that way.
I never really felt the way & I should because God created me for love and
He did, indeed, make me beautiful. In
Haiti I felt that way.
You wonder why I want to go back? Because there is something about feeling exactly the way God
created you to be. To be in love. It wasn’t easy, but it was love.
Going to Haiti wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done,
though before I went it surely seemed like it. The hardest thing I’ve ever had
to do in my life was to come back here.
Yes, I know there is lots of love to live here, but I wish I was
there. Not yet, but someday.
I don’t know how to explain how my heart feels.
I can’t explain how my heart was changed there.
While I am here, I will love, I will allow God to remove the
walls that I have put up. I will love
bigger while I am here, I will listen, I will love.
And I’ll count down the days until I am back again, among
the most beautiful!
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