I asked so many times for God to open my heart, to make help me love bigger than I had ever loved before. I went to Haiti with so many things that frightened me. I have had walls around my heart for so long that I’ve kind of just learned to function with those walls, sometimes the view was only because I was on my tip-toes trying to see over them. And that is no way to live a life of love.
I was watching the Haiti video and I keep saying it, but really, in my life I’ve never felt beautiful, it doesn’t matter how many times people tell me, I never really feel that way. I never really felt the way & I should because God created me for love and He did, indeed, make me beautiful. In Haiti I felt that way.
You wonder why I want to go back? Because there is something about feeling exactly the way God created you to be. To be in love. It wasn’t easy, but it was love.
Going to Haiti wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done, though before I went it surely seemed like it. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was to come back here. Yes, I know there is lots of love to live here, but I wish I was there. Not yet, but someday.
I don’t know how to explain how my heart feels.
I can’t explain how my heart was changed there.
While I am here, I will love, I will allow God to remove the walls that I have put up. I will love bigger while I am here, I will listen, I will love.
And I’ll count down the days until I am back again, among the most beautiful!