I have relationships that are toxic to me.
Some relationships are easier to remove from our lives than others. Some it’s almost impossible. And those we have to let God work in our own lives so we don’t become unhealthy. There is one in my life that I cannot seem to escape, so when I deal with it, I just put on my nuclear waste uniform and go forward, praying a lot. I do believe that no one is a victim without your own permission, but I think that sometimes the unhealthiness of others can attach to us without even recongnizing it.
My relationship with food can easily become toxic if I am not careful. When I get busy or have to work a long day, it’s easiest to swing through a drive-thru or grab something completely not healthy. Yesterday was one of those kind of days, I could have easily stopped for something bad, instead I went to Starbucks (I also wanted to surprise my dear friend M) so I stopped and got an oatmeal for dinner. Doesn’t seem like much of a dinner now does it? But who says? Who decided that we need to eat some big meal at the end of the day? Rarely lately have I had a big meal at the end of the day, and you know what? I feel better and I weigh less. I’ve actually even forgotten to eat dinner before because I’m satisfied from lunch. Often lately, I eat only when I’m hungry, and I stop when I’m full. What a concept!
It was not that long ago that I was being applauded for meal planning for a month. You know what? I was obsessed with food. And sometimes I think about it way too much. I still eat the things I enjoy. Like today, I probably should have picked the turkey at Subway but I wanted a spicy Italian sub (who doesn’t love a Spicy Italian over a turkey anyway ;) HA!) but it’s what I wanted and I will offset the calories with a better choice later.
I don’t feel like I am obsessed with eating one way or another, just trying to make good choices so that I feel good. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a healthy relationship with food, and to tell you the truth it feels awesome! I’ve dropped almost 12 pounds with little effort. It’s a combination of walks, feeling good, making good food choices.
I’d like to lose 50-60 pounds from where I started, but honestly I’m not focusing too much on the long term, I think of one day at a time, sometimes one meal at a time.