When I first became a Christian there were some AMAZING women in my life, women much wiser than me, most further along in their years and walk than me.
I was totally intimidated (and impressed) about how well they knew the bible. They’d talk about things, and I’d be completely blown away about how they knew the bible. I so wanted to be like that! I could ask them anything (like I had no idea how they knew Jesus was coming back and HOW He was going to do it) and I never felt stupid. It was amazing.
I saw their lives, perfectly imperfect. They loved Jesus and He loved them through their mess. It was kind of funny because sometimes they were cut and dry about stuff and because I was (and still am) quite worldly, I brought a completely different perspective to them. And they opened my crazy mind set and lovingly steered me in the right direction or thought about how they never saw it that way. (Imagine… most of them did not like Harry Potter and I allowed my daughter to read it! HA! But I was never afraid to talk to them about it).
They knew scripture. They could throw one at me anytime I needed it. It made me want to soak up the word of God like a sponge. Though I fell short of reading the whole bible a million times! But I just learned to love it. To dive in, read, study, talk about it.
It brought me incredibly close to God. Who can be friends with someone if you don’t know anything about them? and I wanted to be close to God, so I read.
They taught me how to pray and not be afraid to say what I needed to say. God is a big God.
They also taught me that God was there with me, always. Not just on Sundays, not just during prayer time, ALWAYS.
Yesterday while everyone was taking the challenge that Pastor J threw out, act like God is always tagging along with you, I thought it was kind of odd, that people needed to do it, because I have always known, even when I’m a jerk, Jesus is right there. I’ve always felt His presence. Until yesterday. I could not feel Him. I’m not going to lie, I threw some stuff up at Him, I was mad. And like a kid, I threw a temper tantrum, and I cried, and I still have my moments of fighting back the tears.
I found myself thankful for those encouraging, awesome women who were in my life, because they taught me by showing me, but loving me, a faith that I could not have found on my own. I tell you the truth, had I not known how big God is, how much He loves me, after the last week or so, I could have just walked away. But I do know how much He loves me (and I also know He would have come get me – leave 99 for 1) and I didn’t.
I saw God all over the place. I mean ALL over the place. In muffins, in my friends, in the warm sunshine, in people’s smile, and I even saw Him in my own tears. I saw Him in my car starting, in green grass, and brilliantly planted trees. In standing outside talking with a friend. In crying in front of friends and letting them love me. I even saw Him in love at the end of the night. But I knew He was there, even if I couldn’t feel Him.
This morning after some breathing Him in, I felt Him, and He quickly reminded that He put all those things in front of me, to remind me how much He loves me. He never left. He showed me how much He loved me.
He’s a mighty God, and I am undeserving.
Psalm 118:15 Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: “The LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!