I am not sure why at some point I decided to start but I did.
Man do I love to write. Seriously. Words on a paper make me so happy. Describing a sunrise so that people can see it without actually seeing it. Knowing that what I go through helps others or at the end of a journey they see why we keep going.
Earlier today I had no words. I had so much to say but all I could do was cry. It would be like a painter ran out of paint or a singer lost their voice, or if Einstein lost his mind. That's how I felt.
That was so hard for me.
Our church is taking a challenge to take Jesus with them wherever they go. It's weird to me because I kind of always felt like I do that. Now I can't feel God. I can see His majestic beauty all around me, I've read the words He has given to me, I've sang the songs He has inspired others to write so that when I don't have the words I can sing of His greatness. And great He is. But I don't feel Him. And I find myself wanting to be so mad at Him but I can't because I know of His greatness. I know of his love and have praised him for his provision but I don't feel him today.
I journaled today about how I was really feeling and it helped a lot. I guess the whole point of this was to say that sometimes I can't always express all my feelings on my blog but I'm thankful for my journal.