It has been an amazing couple months. My heart has been broken wide open. I don’t know if I like the word ‘broken’…
I really have had the dream of writing a book.
I wonder… who would read it?
My blog gets quite a few hits everyday, but would anyone actually PAY for a book that I would write? Does my blog encourage you? Or do you read it to see what crazy thing I’m up to next? Do you think “shew, she really has gone over the edge”? Do you ‘like’ it? Are you inspired to be more?? People tell me they read it, but rarely do I get a comment.
See, these are the things that satan uses to keep me from doing things. He reminds me of who I once was and then I get stuck. But thinking about who you were or saying that you might still be that person is like saying that God didn’t change you.
I feel like a crack pot these days. I’m going 100 mph and I’m trying to “take it easy one the curves” (on a side note, my car needs new front tires… when am I supposed to get that done?!) maybe I should take it easy on the curves literally and figurately. HAHA!
I’d like to share a couple tips of my life lately.
I read and listen to the bible EVERYDAY. I haven’t always been super great at this, but knowing how much I have going on, it’s essential. But let’s not kid ourselves, it’s essential if I don’t have a lot going on (but that never happens). I listen to music that is edifying to my spirit. It might not all be “Christian” but I don’t listen to music that will make me mad. I watch TV shows/movies with everyday heroes, because I want to see their characteristics and I want to emulate them. I also listen to podcasts. The same one all day (yes, 4 or 5 times) because I hear something different almost every time and it also reinforces the things that I need to hear and the scriptures. And at least once a week (more like 2 or 3) I listen to the Podcast from Elevation Church with Israel Houghton about worship.
It’s hard, but I try to speak life everyday to more than 5 people. And sometimes by speaking… I mean I shut up and just listen. Last week a co-worker talked about something, and yesterday I followed up about it, you should have seen the smile on their face, they even turned around to make sure I was talking to them. I’ll tell you a story about what happened to me the other day. I was crying a lot. It was a rough day. People asked me if I was ok, I said “I’m fine” because I just couldn’t talk about it. I just couldn’t. One person I thought FOR SURE would follow up ask me how I was doing, didn’t. I was a little sad about it. I can’t change that. But Jeanne Mayo says “be the kind of friend you need” and so I do. I forgive and I move on (because many times, I don’t follow up). And in their defense, I’m not always the easiest nut to crack, and I once had a friend say “I didn’t check on you because I knew you’d be ok, you’re the strongest person I know”. So sometimes I expect it.
I watch people. I see if patterns are changing, and I ask that they are ok. Not because I’m nosey but because I truly care about them. I’m not always honest about my struggles but I know that sometimes my patterns change when things aren’t “right”. I’m blessed to have discernment about things. Know that if you tell me you’re ok, but your actions don’t match, I will know, and I might not say anything, but I will be praying.
I pray for the lost. And I pray for them by name. I pray for the lost like they will be found. I pray like I know God has them on His surveillance and He hasn’t missed a moment, because He hasn’t. He’s waiting for just the right opportunity to scoop them up. I BELIEVE it.
There are a few things in my life lately that I had no idea I’d be in this spot. This is not how I saw it going… but I can’t change that, I can only love right where I am at, circumstances and all. I don’t have to like it, but I have to love. Love God, and love others.
John 13:34-35 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”