Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Living in the Moment

I’ve never been one to live in the moment.

I’ve always looked ahead. I've looked behind.  But rarely have I lived now. 

There are a lot of reasons for that. One being that I always waited for the storm that looked to be brewing on the horizon to come.

A lot of times, that storm? It never came.

A lot of times, I dream of brighter days or things that are worth looking ahead to. And sometimes that happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.  I can't tell you how long I wished for a mom, and in God's timing... she was given.  The perfect one for my dad... and a perfect mom for me.

There have been moments lately that I feel like I can’t make it to the next minute. That the pain will surely over take me, that the pain will seem so great that I just might die. In those moments, I don’t even look to the next half hour, I turn, and I pray for peace. In that moment. In that VERY moment. When I get through one minute, or sometimes 30 seconds, I know I can go on.

I remember Matthew 6:35 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

I’ve also learned to enjoy the moments in life that are good. In holding my nephews as they ate their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (or maybe they didn’t, but they snugged me instead of eating), in watching them share their ice cream with their baby brother.

I think about the past and while in many times it hold heartache, I also think of moments I know there was love abound. Of the memories by the water or the moments of anticipation that came true. I have a favorite spot I like to go to that brings great memories. I am at peace there.  I think I'll be heading there tonight to pray.

Lynne Cox
When I was a kid, there was a swimmer, Lynne Cox who swam across the Detroit River, I don’t remember how old I was, but I do remember getting to get off school and watch her. It was a big deal. Being that I had been on the water so many times, I don’t think it seemed like a big deal to me, it didn’t seem that far across… but looking back now, I think “Holy Moly”. When she swam, she didn’t look ahead, she didn’t look behind, she swam, in that moment. One stroke at a time. It’s funny how something that didn’t seem to be a big deal to me all those years ago is on my heart now. My blog used to be called “a lesson in everything”, and I guess that is true. I have to remember to just be in the moment, don’t look forward, don’t look back, I’ll make it to the other side.

I have to remember that where I am, God is going to be there, He is going to work in and through me, in my peace, and my pain, and my joy. He’s there. In the thick of it all. I'm learning to live in the present. To live right now.  Whatever it is, the good, the bad, the beautiful, right now.

So much of my life is tied up in music, because even though I love to write, there are moments that I just don’t have the words, but God gave someone else the words when my heart just didn’t have them.

I was listening to “the Glory of it all” today by David Crowder. I know that my music is set to Random, so any song can just come up, but sometimes I feel like God picks them for me.  The song reminds me God is here now, He is there are the end, and He is in middle of it. I will find His love in it all.

Gal 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love

this seems like a very scattered post...  just like me these days...

David Crowder – The Glory of It all.

At the start
he was there, he was there
In the end,
he’ll be there, he’ll be there

And After all our hands have wrought
He forgives

Oh the Glory of it all is:

he came here
For the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all
for the glory of it all

All is lost
find him there, find him there
After night
Dawn is there, Dawn is there

After all falls apart
he repairs he repairs

Oh the Glory of it all is:
he came here
for the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all

oh he is here
for redemption from the fall
that we may live
for the glory of it all
oh the glory of it all
the glory of it all
oh the glory of it all

After night
comes the light
dawn is here
dawn is here

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