Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Love is abound

I started really writing my book yesterday. I really wondered where to begin, I’ve been writing things here and there (less there than here) and not that much. I’ve had a lot of pain lately, and writing the book opens some old wounds that maybe weren’t healed yet. Even if I’ve wanted to write, and people have encouraged me to do so… I haven’t been able to write for the book.

Yesterday I started with the death of my mom because that’s where my story seems to begin. Isn’t it crazy that I feel like my story begins in death? Hmmm… that says a lot about me. No wonder I have such a fascination of death. And it also starts with love, because my momma loved big as she gave up her own life for mine. Did you also know I’m also fascinated with love? 

On Saturday I was reminded about love. My heart was breaking, but I was reminded of the goodness of love. I was reminded of how much my heart had longed for it. Saturday was honestly a tough day. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we are loved by those we trust to love us. We need people to encourage us, even, and maybe especially, in our tears. On those hard days, I choose to be around people who love me. I used to back away thinking I could get through it myself because sometimes there are more tears, and that can be painful, but I KNOW that I really should reach in not back away.

It means that I found myself with people that I consider family, I found myself fighting back tears with friends, but surrounded by great love. I found myself sobbing in church, and then I was so blessed, a friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while contacted me and I was able to feel love there too. That is how God works, He gives us what we need.

My stomach still hurts, I feel like I am going to puke quite often, a lot of times, I actually start coughing like I am going to hurl, but thankfully for the most part – I’m keeping things down. Only had a few isolated incidents. I think I might even start exercising if I can start getting up in the morning. I think it will surely help with my stress management.

Still chugging along trying to live a life of love, I just am not always sure where I belong, but I will love until I figure it out... Love is certainly the path of least resistance.

1 John 3:18-20 MSG 18-20 My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

I love this song... it played on my mp3 today and it made my heart smile.

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