Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

I am something!! And I believe it!

For most of my life I felt like I was picked last on the playground. I actually was picked last a lot when it came to sports. There are a lot of underlying issues of why I feel that way.

Here’s the thing… all those underlying issues, they are lies straight from the pit of hell, they tell me that I’m not good enough, that I’ll never amount to anything, that no one would read my book, not even people who know me, that I’m ugly, and fat, and stupid, that I’m terrible at ______ (I could fill that in with millions of things). That my dumb choices will make no one love me, if they ever loved me at all. Those lies make me go to the back of the class and sit, slunched over.  But I don't belong in the back, and I should never sit slunched over... that's

I’m squirming out of the chokehold that satan has had on me for a couple of weeks, ok, he’s always kind of been after me, but he’s had a pretty tight grip on me, and I’ve written about my struggles lately. (Romans 8:38-39 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.) But this I will tell you, I am not who he says I am - I am who GOD says I am (and so thankful for those who have been praying for me, and knowing the word of God!) ! I asked someone today why someone would be envious of me… and they said “you don’t even see it” and that is kind of sad. So I decided to pray and have God reveal to me today who He thinks I am.

I know this, I am nothing without Jesus.

I’m a missionary. Maybe not one of those full-time, live in a foreign land kind of people. I think even though I think I’d love to do that, God knows I would hate it long term, but every day, at work, at church, at Panera, I am a missionary. I am to show Jesus to those who need Him. As much as I think my daily life doesn’t affect people for Jesus, it does.

I’m a good momma. I had someone write to me that I show my daughter that I only follow Jesus when it’s easy. I was angry and laughed at the same time… thinking… when has my life EVER been easy. I do everything afraid. I even walk into church afraid. I just put my shoulders back, and put on a smile, and move forward. Does that make me a good momma? I don’t know, but it shows my daughter that in spite of whatever is going on around us, we trudge on. What makes me a good momma is that I love her. I would not go on in life it wasn’t for her. She may not always know it, but the decisions I make always have her in mind. I show her that we follow Jesus, even when it’s hard, and the poor kid had to listen to me cry as I said “I didn’t ask for all this” but she knew I loved God even when I asked where He was. I show her that I follow Jesus, even when it’s hard. No greater gift you can give your kids but to show them you believe, and trust, and LOVE Jesus.

I’m pretty. As much as I don’t look like anyone else. I’m not that photogenic, I am never gonna be a model, I am pretty. I have eyes that love, a smile that spreads joy.

I am also beautiful because God made me. The cutest thing is when Levi or Judah say “Auntie Margie, God made you beautiful”. It’s true, He did. When my heart is open to love, it makes me even more beautiful. And sometimes in love, there is heartbreak, but I WILL NEVER BE SORRY I LOVED. Love turns us from a bundled up calepitter (that’s how Phyllis always said caterpillar) into a beautiful butterfly.

I am smart. I know a lot of things that are interesting. Things about wire harnesses and folding mirrors, and medical stuff. I know how things work, so I can fix them. I am smart.

I’m also funny. Most people don’t always know that about me… but I’m funny.

I’m a speaker. I need to take another speech class or something, but God made me to speak His word. A lot of times it’s one on one, but sometimes it’s to groups of people. Not everyone sees that part of me, or ever gives me a chance, but I am. God told me. He’s preparing me, He’s raising me up.

I’m a writer. I always have been. I love writing. I’ve started my book. I’m looking into some other things that I can be involved in, and I’m super excited about all the things God is doing in my heart and the way He will be glorified!

I'm a lot of other things too... but mostly, I am a lover of Jesus. And He loves me too!

I am not picked last.

I am strong because Christ’s strength is in me. 2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I am free. John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed

I am chosen. 1 Thes 1:4 For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you

I am a masterpiece. Eph 2:10 (NLT) For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

I am loved. John 3:16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

Jer 1:5 (msg) “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that’s what I had in mind for you.”

To those who love me... I'll always love you

1 comment:

Jada's Gigi said...

You are hidden in Christ Jesus, now and forever, CHOSEN..not last but from before the foundations of the earth....He Loves You...and I love you too.