I don’t think people even can fathom how hard it is for me to say good-bye. Even after a weekend with people, I rush off and give quick hugs and say good-bye. I hate good-byes.
Add struggle to the mix. And good-byes are even harder. I didn’t even really like my dog, and when I had to get rid of her, I cried and cried. It was just a dog to me. (and if I’m honest, sometimes I still miss her).
I’ve been going back and forth about going to Haiti in December. Thinking (just thinking!!) about saying good-bye to my muffins makes me heart break. When we were there, I started crying on Thursday to say good-bye on Saturday. Are you kidding me? What can I say, I have a passionate heart. Mad, sad, grumpy, glad, my heart is always filled with emotion… and if you add love anywhere in the mix of that, its like my heart could explode. That makes life difficult for me sometimes.
I was cleaning yesterday, looking for my power cord to my elliptical and found a CD that I hadn’t listened to in quite a while called “Heart and Soul” that is all solo piano by Jeff Van Houten that supports 2nd Mile Missions (thanks again EJ, Linds,& Jack). I put it in today, and instantly found myself wrapped up in calmness (good thing too, because I puked this morning all nerved up).
As, I often do, I went to the bathroom (I drink a lot of water) and in the peacefulness of my spirit, and the quietness of the bathroom, God spoke. He said “do not close yourself off to love because you are afraid of good-bye”. (that advice, has been spoken to me over and over by someone I know (I love you and am thankful for you) – who speaks Jesus to me often).
We are going to Haiti in December, a decision that I have been going back and forth with for the last month. I’ve even started collecting candy to take with me. I also need balloons, matchbox cars, crayons, they need notebooks for school, donations of cash to ship the stuff and/or pay for the extra suitcase, toothpaste, toothbrushes, vitamins, you can even donate to my trip (it’s $600 for us to stay – I’ve already paid for our tickets (~$1700), plus Phyllis needs her vaccinations. I also need two suitcases that I can take (and leave) to Haiti.
So… here I go, in my struggles, in my heartache, in my puking, in my stress, letting my heart be open to what God has in store for me, big Love.
And if you are interested in sponsoring one of our muffins, you can go here http://www.gradecorphanagehaiti.com/ . They are the cutest kids in Haiti!! And so sweet and full of love… and it’s only $25 a month! I sponsor 2 :)
Also, if you love local missions (as I do too!) Courage church does an amazing outreach to those in the city of Detroit you can find them here http://couragechurch.com
Is 1:17 Learn to do good.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows. (Isaiah 1:17 NLT)