Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

15 years!

It’s a cold December day. My fiancé is at the UofM football game. We are just hanging out at the house. I don’t really know what I was doing, Phyllis was coloring. I stopped to look at her, which is often my favorite past time, even know. The beauty of God’s grace in the physical form.

It has been a long month.

We’ve been to the doctor probably 5 times. She’s been on antibiotic and antibiotic. She’s tired, lethargic and not happy. And if you know my Phyllis, that’s not her. She’s had a spring in her step and a sparkle in her eye since the day she was born. As her momma, I’m growing concerned. Though as a young momma, I don’t have enough confidence to stand up to the doctor because I feel like he’s wrong in his diagnosis.

I look down at her noticing that she won’t lean on her hand. And it’s swollen. I look at her cute feet, and notice that her ankle is swollen too. Instantly, I think she’s having an allergic reaction to the new meds she’s on. But that doesn’t make sense because all the joints would be affected, not just those two. (I was a genius even then). I took her to the emergency room at Oakwood. My friend Michelle met me there, and my dad. We sat. And we waited.

They gave me a list of things it could possibly be. One of them being meningitis. Thankfully I didn’t have a smart phone then. I would have totally freaked out. That test would be last, when everything else was deemed negative.

The diagnosis came. We were sitting in the bed.

Juvenile Rheumatoid arthritis.

I cried.

I didn’t even know what that was or how you treat it.

It seemed like a death sentence.

If you know me, you know it didn’t take long for me to pull up my big girl panties and fight this horrible disease. And fight I did. Though often my battle is waged against everyone around me, not just the cause I am fighting. The Lord is working on that and so am I. I could tell you some stories! Some crazy stories! I once told someone they were lucky to be so far away because I’d drive there to kick their tail because they wouldn’t ship her medicine. Her medicine arrived the next day.

It’s 15 years later. To the day.

She’s in remission.  She's been in remission for about 10 years, but I recieved the "official" letter, the day she left on her first trip to Colombia.  I know that letter came because God needed me to know that she would be fine, and He has never left her.

Her body is worse for the wear.

But when I look at her, I again, think of God’s grace and beauty.

I think of how He carried us through one of the worst times in our lives. I think of the people who supported us in so many ways. Even though it was hard, harder than you can probably imagine, I can’t help but have a heart of Thanksgiving, because He, indeed, is good.

15 years ago my daughter was diagnosed, and because of His goodness, she is in remission.

May I never forget His grace and mercy.

Josh 1:5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.


Deb said...

:) I have no words...only tearful smiles...God is indeed a good God.

Terry said...

i don't even know what to say dear sister...except that i am so glad that you didn't give up on life and the lord would never give up on you...the lord is so proud of you...i love terry