Not giving up!

I was praying yesterday.  Please God, no vomit today.  Imagine, I pray that EVERYDAY!

I've half (not even half) joked that I didn't puke when I cussed people out when they've hurt me, I'd come at them with everything I had.  I've seen the damage that it left, and I didn't want to leave that wave of destruction any longer.  So I decided to keep it inside.  And honestly, it has taken quite a toll on me.  I'm still gonna work on not swearing... but I've got to figure something out....

There has to be some other way not to leave that mess behind without puking.  There has to be, but I will tell you, if what happened to me Friday, happens again, look out, I am letting loose and you're gonna get it, I will not puke for a half hour straight, puke after puke after puke, I have no idea where it all came from.  Seriously.

The last few months have been difficult....  I was listening to this song by Red Bullet called "bullet in my hand" and I love it because the song talks about all the stuff that we do but how someone is looking out for me.

I love this song... I'm a little worse for the wear of the time that has passed, but I never give up.  I'm working on gettng my sparkle back.  It's not easy.  I was praying yesterday about the heartbrokenness of it all.  And wondering why it has to be this way.  I actually hit my knees. I don't get it. I don't get a lot of things.  And I'm not that happy about it to tell you the truth but I guess I'll get over it.

I'm glad I never give up the fight, I'm like one of those UFC people who would rather die than lose :)  So I might get a little roughed up... But I can see the light.



I've got a fast life and

A slow cuttin' knife
I've been drinkin' at a poisoned well
No home and a bag of bones

And nothin' else left to sell
I know why I'm in this hell
I just don't wanna believe
Past that line you just can't tell
But right now

There's someone lookin' out for me

I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin'
I'm lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got ---- up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand

I got a cold stare, the wound's still there
But there ain't much left to bleed
A short fuse that I still use
I'm my own worst enemy
Stare at the faces I once knew lined up just to bury me
There's a long black car that's waitin' to leave
But right now

There's someone looking out for me
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin'
I'm lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got ----- up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand

Cause I got a little roughed up
With a bullet in my hand
Yeah I really got ----- up
With a bullet in my hand

Can you see the light?
Can you see the light?
Can you see the light?
I can see the light
I can see the light

There's someone looking out for me

I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin'
I'm lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got ---- up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand







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