Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sometimes in our area the Catholic Church is dogged because their prayers are memorized and they do the same thing over and over. (If you are one of those people who speak against any church... go read John 17:20-21) I am here to tell you that today, I am so very thankful for the memorization of prayers.
As I was sitting at my desk, and it’s been a rough couple days… I started reciting Psalm 23. I have said it over and over and over and over and over again as we went to Christ the Good Shepherd. I could probably say that Psalm in my sleep. And I am THANKFUL!
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
I’m thankful that I have a mind like a steal trap, albeit a little rusty sometimes… I memorize the scriptures, the numbers. The Word of God is in my heart, in my head, and a part of my life.
There are always moments when I have to do hard things, like feel pain, that I want to turn around when I need to go forward. Retreat not advance. But I get no where that I haven’t already been if I don’t advance, and as much as I loved New York, I would not want to go to the same places I went to before.
There are moments when I think “Dear Jesus, it was easier to go around like a crazy busy person than it is to sit here quietly with You, I’ll sit but when I start squirming, Lord, hold me a little tighter”. I take great comfort in knowing that walk in the shadow of death, not in death. Death has been overcome for me, and though shadows seem real (and dark), they aren’t really real, and no darkness can extinguish the light. And that light is in me.
So if you see me, there is a good chance, you might find me crying. I am not ok, so don’t ask, unless you’re going to hug me, and pray and listen. I don’t need Christianese, I already know what to do, and I’m doing it, I’m being obedient, that’s why it hurts, I’m getting through mess that’s been around for a long time, and just like when I start cleaning a room, somewhere in the middle, it’s way worse than it was before I had started, but at some point, there is a turning point, and then it’s gloriously beautiful. And that’s me… on my way to Gloriously Beautiful…
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.