Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

I want it now!

I had someone through my past back in my face the other day. It was my choice to get hit in the heart with the crud or to deflect it with throwing crud at her or just to let it hit the floor and walk past it. Well, if I was perfect, I certainly wouldn’t need Jesus. I finally was able to get some peace about a situation by walking away. Sometimes we have to do that.  I had to choose to be kind.

There are somethings that we can’t get peace from if we walk away. It’s hard to watch people make choices that hurt them, but it’s not up to us to make their choices from them. They ask us to leave because I think it causes them pain to have us watch them go around in pain. I’m still here. Just waiting, and praying.  I have to choose to be patient.

Last night I went to bed exhausted. Just plain exhausted. I wanted to post that I was hurting, but instead, I just was quiet, went and worked, and finally let me head hit the pillow. I woke up still exhausted, and quite frankly crabby.

Being crabby or joyful is my choice. Wouldn’t it be great if I could possess the fruits of the spirit so that my spirit would be joyful? I will work on letting go of hurt and garbage until I get there! I am not willing to settle for anything less than what God has for me. I have to choose to be joyful

We reap what we sow. I'd like to reap the fruits of the spirit so that's what I'm trying to sow.  But how come it seems so difficult??  Will it ever just come "naturally'?
Here’s the problem… I’m working through some stuff, stuff that has built up over years. So I want read my book, study the fruits of the spirit, and I want to be healed of hurts that have been there for so long, I want to possess all the fruits of the spirit, and like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, I WANT IT NOW! Give me my golden egg, NOW!

I want to be patient (but that is one of the fruits that I lack) and I know that God wants me to be patient, and I think it’s one of those things that I’m gonna learn the easy way or the hard way. Oh boy… those lessons are usually very difficult for me, and requiring many lessons. I wonder if they have any of those worksheets from first grade 1 + 1 = 2; 2 + 1 = 3… I think that’s what I need!

So today… I’m choosing to slow down. I can’t decide whether to go the Women’s Ministry Night or a meeting. Both of which are optional… I just feel like I am supposed to be somewhere I just am not sure where. Ugh :/ Maybe I’m just supposed to be home.

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.


Jada's Gigi said...

Fruit comes in season....

Kristin said...

Yes I have been glad you were able to turn your day around and am hoping that tonight is peaceful for you too!