"I am afraid, For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this wayhave heard the song “I wonder” many times at Metro. It often moves me to tears.
So on my face I fall under Your heavy grace, Here I lay in awe and wonder
And I wonder"
Thinking about this past week, and thinking about surrender. Of course I have moments where I think “sure life wasn’t perfect, but this is scary (and it hurts!) can’t I just go on like I was? But God doesn’t call us to lead lives that are just ok, He calls us to live a life of something greater.
Certainly I am not perfect, and I make dumb choices sometimes and the hurt of my past overshadows the greatness of my life sometimes, and that makes me sad. But i keep going forward, striving to be more like Him, making good choices, loving Him more everyday.
And sometimes, the craziest times in my life, I am afraid. How do I trust something I cannot see. There is a song that says “its better to believe than to have seen”. Sometimes it’s hard not to be afraid when I’ve been afraid my whole life. I actually can’t remember a time when I was younger that I wasn’t afraid. And now my fear looks so different. It manifests and shows it’s ugly head in a different way.
Last night, as I sang the words
"I am afraid, For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this way"Because sometimes I am afraid, what if I get past this point, and it’s not as great as I think it’s gonna be, what if…
But I have to trust. I have to trust God. I love Him, and more importantly, and on a way higher spectrum, He loves me.
Sometimes, I have to go forward, afraid. Not seeing what is ahead, but knowing He called me to go, taking one step at a time, lighting my path.
Deut 31:7-8 7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. 8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”