I went to the Chris Tomlin and Kari Jobe worship concert last night, it was amazing where my heart was when it started and how as I opened it more and more, it changed, I started to write in the middle of the song Sovereign, which might have been so weird for some people, but writing and worshipping seemed actually so perfect for me. I love writing, and it is worship for me.
There's a part in the song "Indescribable" that says "You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same".
He sees the depths of my heart, and He loves me, and He gets in there and change it!
Have you ever been afraid to feel ?
Sometimes I'm too afraid to love.
I'm afraid to let people in they might hurt me.
What if they let me in and I let them down, because surely I will.
What if God gave me this incredible honor to share His love and His story and I mess it up?
What if I'm not quiet enough to hear the heart longing for Him. What if I'm not still enough to let my heart long for Him.
I know that He will never forsake me but no one has ever not left me.
It's faith that makes me believe that He will never leave me even when people on the earth have. His faithfulness inspires me to be more faithful. His faithfulness reminds me that not only in my head it all makes sense but in my heart He is always there, He loves me, I am beautiful, chosen, and worthy.
I have been trying to figure out where I was going to go for a weekend to spend some alone time with God. I knew I wanted to be in a place where I could walk outside, and I also knew I needed a place where my phone wouldn't work :) because I wanted no distractions.
I haven't been able to feel any peace about any places I was looking. I thought maybe this wasn't going to happen, maybe I'd never find healing, maybe I'd never find true peace. Or what if I do this, and nothing happens (ok, how stupid is that? who spends time alone with God and NOTHING happens?? even if one spends time with God and doesn't hear from Him - at least for me, it makes me want to seek Him more!). And then...
I realize I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm sooooo blessed because someone had graciously offered me a place to stay to get away and be with Jesus for a weekend. I'm scared a little because I know it's going to be hard to go to the place of pain, extract the lie, but once the pain is replaced by truth I will have new life in me! That is exciting!!!
I think of how many people God has sent to pray with and for me. To love me and for me to love. His faithfulness is amazing!!
I'm so excited for God to do a mighty work in my heart, greater than He's already done! Wow!!
2 Kings 6:16 16 “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”